Druidic Approach to healing from Emotional/Sexual Abuse

[LadyAoftheshire]

Greetings,

I am new on the boards, but have been interested and looking into Druidry for some time.

Just wanted to ask some opinions on the druidic approach to healing for Emotional/Sexual abuse.

[Donata]

Hi lady A,

I"m glad you're seeing a therapist! it's really hard to deal with something like this alone.

It took awhile for me to do what I'm suggesting, after a long time in therapy, so don't feel at all pressured! I had to release the past and finally come to a place where I could forgive those who hurt me and feel compassion for them. This isn't easy. It never means that what they did was alright to do, or that you would allow it to continue, only that you recognize that it's in the past. The only one we harm or hurt when we hold onto the pain (and I know it's hard to let go) is ourselves. Each time we feel that pain again the perp wins again, abuses again, and we prolong the pain. Don't be hard on yourself if you're not willing or able to do this now. No blame is involved at all, no expectation. it's just what finally worked for me.

My first step was to forgive myself. We aren't responsible, but especially if a child, we tend to take in the guilt and feel somehow that we deserve such treatment. We don't! So in forgiving myself, it was important to claim my own power and come to love and accept myself as I am. Be proud that you did manage to survive! be thankful for your strong will and spirit that have carried you and brought you to where you are now. Give yourself with the love and acceptance and understanding you wanted as a child. Meditate on this and let yourself experience how wonderful it feels.

Surprisingly for me, as I forgave myself and released the past, I gained a sense of compassion. Who knows what forms another person? what they may have gone through? However evil anyone seems there is a spark deep inside of the pure child they were at birth. I can feel compassion for that child who was so changed by life even if I don't fully feel it for the abusing adult the child became. Nothing can excuse abuse of a child! Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing it. What I felt was like seeds of bitterness that I could only get rid of by changing them into compassion and release.

Take your time. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. KNow it will be alright. You'll know when it's time to take the next step.

Blessings,
Donata

[Nightfalls]

The only one we harm or hurt when we hold onto the pain (and I know it's hard to let go) is ourselves.

I can not emphasize this point enough. Too many people have no idea how to cope with emotional/physical abuse and bottle it up inside. Those same people end up mistreating their children, and the cycle continues. Donata is 110% right! You need to forgive yourself and let go of the past. It can and will be VERY hard to do but you will be stronger in the end.

[Aurora]

Hi LadyAoftheshire,

Well done in acknowledging your inner pain and taking steps to address it, that can be a very hard thing to do (speaking from my own experiences of emotional and mental abuse growing up) and Donata's suggestion is a wonderful if very hard one which will probably take quite some time to do, but is well worth the effort if it can be done.

Best of luck and blessings to you

[LadyAoftheshire]

Thank you all. I have also been directed to another thread on the board, so I will delete this thread and read the other one..

Thanks!

[MiriamSPia]

I felt this thread was helpful.

For me, it was important to understand that forgiveness is not the same as saying that what someone did was OK, when it really wasn't.

I feel its OK that Donata wrote about feeling more compassion - but personally I think compassion for oneself comes before compassion for the abuser.

Therapy can be useful, depending on what happened and on the therapist it can help a lot.

Having good experiences is probably the best natural therapy. This works the same way that humans can re-train an animal that was abused to be OK in situations that it freaks out over because there were times when the animal [or even a human entity, or other entity] was abused when the surrounding circumstances were similar. This works with people to. It can be easy or tricky. It can be 'rigged' or it can occur naturally. Usually if someone was really hurt they will have aversions. The only exception would involve some other kind of training based in overcoming aversions...an example might be that a fighter, or a fire fighter or a cop or someone like that, might not avoid the threat of harm or entering a fire in the same way that a 'normal' person would. There is probably still natural aversion to danger but the relationship to it has been changed.

[nerithedeerfairy]

thank you, Aine smiles upon this healing post.

[Charlene]

To add to that, the work of therapy, combined with the work in the course, and druid path in general, really assisted the healing of my own journey. Pain is pain, and healing it is it part of the process. Creativity and giving the pain an outlet or voice helped the therapeutic work. Sometimes the only person who could appreciate it was the therapist, but one held the hand of the other for me.