Hi lady A,
I"m glad you're seeing a therapist! it's really hard to deal with something like this alone.
It took awhile for me to do what I'm suggesting, after a long time in therapy, so don't feel at all pressured! I had to release the past and finally come to a place where I could forgive those who hurt me and feel compassion for them. This isn't easy. It never means that what they did was alright to do, or that you would allow it to continue, only that you recognize that it's in the past. The only one we harm or hurt when we hold onto the pain (and I know it's hard to let go) is ourselves. Each time we feel that pain again the perp wins again, abuses again, and we prolong the pain. Don't be hard on yourself if you're not willing or able to do this now. No blame is involved at all, no expectation. it's just what finally worked for me.
My first step was to forgive myself. We aren't responsible, but especially if a child, we tend to take in the guilt and feel somehow that we deserve such treatment. We don't! So in forgiving myself, it was important to claim my own power and come to love and accept myself as I am. Be proud that you did manage to survive! be thankful for your strong will and spirit that have carried you and brought you to where you are now. Give yourself with the love and acceptance and understanding you wanted as a child. Meditate on this and let yourself experience how wonderful it feels.
Surprisingly for me, as I forgave myself and released the past, I gained a sense of compassion. Who knows what forms another person? what they may have gone through? However evil anyone seems there is a spark deep inside of the pure child they were at birth. I can feel compassion for that child who was so changed by life even if I don't fully feel it for the abusing adult the child became. Nothing can excuse abuse of a child! Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing it. What I felt was like seeds of bitterness that I could only get rid of by changing them into compassion and release.
Take your time. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. KNow it will be alright. You'll know when it's time to take the next step.