My 16-year old daughter was diagnosed last October with acute Crohn's Disease. She is under the care of an excellent GI specialist and his stellar nursing team (I want to be like them when I grow up
), and has finally begun to make slow progress in managing her disease. Some of you may recall my posts two years ago, before my divorce was final. Brief refresher, pertinent to this topic: the children's father is an extreme fundamentalist (if you think that's redundant, you should meet him) christian who became increasingly abusive when I came out of the pagan closet. He remarried less than a month after our divorce was final, which was also last October (poor woman, she's very sweet). Given the kind of person he is, most of you can probably imagine the continual strife. I agreed to joint legal custody, though I'm primary physical custodian; I've regretted this since then.
My daughter had symptoms last July, when we began trying to get a diagnosis. The diagnostic procedure eventually decided on by the doctor was quite involved; she had to be on a specialized liquid diet for 3 days prior in order for it to be viable.
This was complicated by the custody arrangements, which stipulate that their father has them on weekends and Wed. evenings for church. So I never had three straight days with Arianyth to help support her on the diet, and she would go to church or to her father's house and be told that if she had enough faith, God would heal her, so the diet was unnecessary and stupid as well as making her an inferior believer. The first time, her father refused to pick up the medication needed for the specialized diet. Second time, he bought her a cheeseburger.
That time I took her to the specialist in desperation anyway, and my daughter heard him in a way she can't hear me. He was very gracious, patient, and explained it all to her without trying to sugar-coat anything. She actually apologized to me in the car for being irresponsible. So the next time she was on the diet, her father took them all to a restaurant and tantalized her with the food she could be eating, because this whole thing was so stupid and unnecessary, all she needed was faith. She lost her patience with him, and stayed on the diet, bless her.
It has been difficult; the doctor knows I'm training to be a nurse, so he had me look at what he saw. She has ulcers throughout her system; one of them in her colon is two feet long. The disease was so acute by the time she was diagnosed, it began to spread to her other body systems. She had to be on hormones for months, and get a bone density scan, and all kinds of other things I won't detail here.
The upshot being: my daughter has a minor flare-up every time she goes to her father and stepmother's; she posted on Facebook today that she wants someone to please cut out her midsection, because 'oh God it hurts'.
Those of you who are moms can imagine how difficult this is for me, but more importantly, this is really hard for her. She is torn on a spiritual level because of the conflict between her father's bizarre interpretation of christianity and my earth-based science-respecting druidry. I am limited in what I can suggest or recommend to her, because her church tells her I am a demon-worshiper on my way to hell.
There are certain teas that help her flare-ups, so I sent her the recipes. However, she has a problem taking her meds when she's there, because of course she has all kinds of pressure to 'have faith' and 'let God heal her'.
So what I'm asking you all here for, is that deep, silent, but so powerful soul-level support for her. Wisdom for me, also; but please send her good wishes, prayers, thoughts, etc; all is appreciated. And thank you for reading all this.








The need is not ended, of course, as long as the situation continues. I cannot prevent his influence, or the church's; but I can hold open a door into a more rational, natural worldview. Not necessarily mine; but they must be able to choose. I am showing them there is more than one way to see the world, and given the stuff they get at their church, that is vital for them to see.

And Bracken, you're so right - it does *not* make it any easier. *sigh*!