(It has been awhile since I've last visited this forums.
Recently I have been giving much thoughts about mortality. I had already come to terms with death many years ago, but in light of recent events, i could not help but ponder about it again.
Last year, I have lost 4 friends in Japan due to tsunami, now, my grandmother's health is on the rapid decline.
This is not meant as a debate, but as a form of speaking my thoughts written in words. The OBOD forums has proven to me many times in the past as a place with many good listerners.)
Yet again death has proven himself as my companion. No matter where I turned or closed my eyes, my ears, he is right there remaining me, whispering... always whispering...
I am not unaccustomed to him, as I have learnt in my early age. The game of hunt and the hunted. I have seen death at it's purest form, but even I do not dare claim to know death at his every form.
I live with death in many ways different from many people,
different than that of a doctor,
different than that of an enbalmer or that of a grave keeper.
They too whom have live their lives closely intertwine with death, but they do not see the fabric of it.
Once... nay, twice had I seen it too close for comfort. This has humbled me greatly.
Most people have seen it, yet they could never realise it... the vastment of mortality.
What makes them think this way, I can roughly guess, though the truth of what makes them tick in their head, is far beyond my grasps,
for I do not claim mastery over the minds of others.
Especially those who claim, act and thinks that they are superior to others.
These comparison between how fortunate one is to another, this measuring of how poor one is compared to someone else is proof of their arrogance and their believe in themselves as "immortal".
But can I, Ebela'ar, truly blame them? can I fault them for it? Nay, I find myself shaking my head, as i had for my ex-lover (and only lover).
The answer is "No I cannot."
I have come to terms with my death, but am I with with the death of others?
I do not doubt in my heart when my cat companion passes on from my side,
I will weep for her, for my lost... (for that I guess, I'm guilty of selfishness.)
Blessed be to my grandmother whose health is deteriorating ,
and to those of my family who is going through with it.
- Ebela'ar the student.
