Hiding Naughty Stuff?

[Huathe]

I wonder if the people saying that you should simply 'come out' about your interest in paganism / Druidry haven't lived with deeply religious parents. From my own personal experience I would recommend keeping it quiet until you are not dependent for anything anymore: and I would say that it's OK to keep your spiritual beliefs private if that's what you need or want to.

Basically don't feel pressured by anyone to do anything: follow your own path.

I agree with what dhonour has to say here. If I would have gotten involved in druidry at 19 when I still lived with my parents, life would have been difficult and it would have been hard to hide. Not only by receiving the course materials. ( No internet back then ) so the OBOD way would have been the only way, and then they would be the problem of finding " alone " time to study. The rituals would have to be done alone, away from home. Myrde. I feel for you. Sometimes choices are not easy. Even though my druidry is Christian based my parents would have found it unacceptable back then. My dad is not nuts about it now, though I have explained it to him and he is much more open about things now than he was in my younger days. Both he and mom are in some ways nervous of it. My sister is very accepting of it and would make a good druid herself. Now if I went pagan, OMG!! My parents would flip!

I would try to keep it quiet as long as I was at home. Getting kicked out before you are ready is NOT a good thing. Be a " stealth " druid and prepare a way to move out. Prepare for the future. But be yourself.

[Serpentia]

As a mother of two teenagers - one of them trying to beat you for youngest Bard at least on the board now - I do NOT open their mail, ever, once they turn 18 and it's no longer my immediate responsibility. Of course they still live at home, so I am indirectly responsible and I do look at what comes in - on the envelope, or I will ask. I expect the same in return.

I had my Wiccan coming out at 20 odd, but I was no longer living at home. Important difference. A battle avoided is a battle won in this case. Get the PO Box and buy yourself peace of mind until you have to fight this one.

Serpentia

[Myrde]

Oh comeone! That's not fair! If my title gets taken, then I'm no longer "Myrde-Youngest Druid who everyone helps and teachers because he's the youngest"!

Then I'm just "Myrde-The annoying young Druid who asks alot of philosophical questions, but nobody answers because he's old enough to figure it out on his own"!

Boy that's a mouthful....

Still... Wiccan mother... does it count?

Lol, thanks for the advice Serpentia. I hope you know Im just teasing. Thanks a ton for the advice. PO box it is! Now to just figure out how to get a credit card. :p

Honestly, I wish I could meet some Druids/Wiccans/Pagans my own age, though. :/ So far, the only people of the sort Ive spoken to is my "teacher", and you guys. And... lets face it. Bit of a stretch in the age difference.

[Heddwen]

My daughter is one of the youngest people on this board..So there!!

but, I don't think this is an age issue, after all size does seem to matter...

[Serpentia]

Well, if you were living in or near Germany, we have quite an active young crowd already, from 15ish to early twenties that likes to meet at our camps and stuff. And relax, since OBOD won't let him join until he's 18, you've got two more years to get ahead of him *grin*

Serpentia

[Myrde]

*gives a weak cheer* Woooot. 2 more months.

Oh! Du Deutsch? Das ist so genial. *glances at the "where she's from in her profile.* Haben Sie eine Idee haben, wenn OBOD tut etwas in den Staaten?

[Serpentia]

Ja *lol* Ich bin Deutsch und ich spreche Deutsch!

OBOD is active in the US, I know Philipp goes there a lot to events. But that question would be better asked in the main forum, where there are lots of Americans. Look up the list of seedgroups there and the events. Hawthorn_Ent is a friend of mine, he lives in the US and he'd be glad to help you, I'm sure. Especially if you also like trees *grin*

Serpentia

[Mountainheart]

Ja *lol* Ich bin Deutsch und ich spreche Deutsch!

Serpentia

So LOL in German is.... lol

Cool.... that adds one more German word to the list of ten that I already know!

The only phrase I can remember for some reason is 'wo ist das rathaus'.

[Huathe]

Ja *lol* Ich bin Deutsch und ich spreche Deutsch!

OBOD is active in the US, I know Philipp goes there a lot to events. But that question would be better asked in the main forum, where there are lots of Americans. Look up the list of seedgroups there and the events. Hawthorn_Ent is a friend of mine, he lives in the US and he'd be glad to help you, I'm sure. Especially if you also like trees *grin*

Serpentia

Serpentia,

Thank you, I would do anything I could to help any budding druid or for that matter anyone here. In the US or otherwise. However, I am not an OBOD druid but one of NOD.

And, yes. being a tree lover is a bonus, but does that not come with being a druid?

[Selene]

OBOD is active in the US, I know Philipp goes there a lot to events.

Not to take this off-topic, but Philip hasn't been to one of our events since about 1997. OBOD does have a lot of members here, though, and there are a number of groves and seed groups scattered around the country.

[cat]

Um, surely your parents already have an inkling as to your spiritual leaning? If you have books n stuff I'd be surprised if they've not already seen them.

Just a thought may be you could leave the intro to druidry leaflet around the house some where to gage reaction.

I've no experince of your situation personaly the only other thing i can think of is if you have a friend that is also intrested you could get the material deliverd to them and study together also would cost less as only pay for one more registration.

Good luck

cath

[MossyMermaid]

Hi,

I hope you're ok at home. I guess the thing is, not to force it. It took years for me to come out to my brother and mother. Both catholics, my brother a bit more hard-line than my mum so I don't mention it to him. I emphasise the shared aspects of spirituality and keep it to a minimum.

They both knew, but I was a bit older than you when they found out. I guess I'm saying, if you can bide your time and see if it's appropriate for you to tell them

[Reyna]

PO Box.

I feel for you, I have to hide my religion as well. I could come out and tell everyone and I think my family would (eventually) calm down and realize I'm not sacrificing goats at the full moon, covering myself with the blood and having sex with billions of strange men; my husband's family-not a chance. Their fundamentalists, I seriously think they'd get out the cord wood and find a stake. They've already tried to break us up and hubby has had to flat out tell his mom that if she forces him to choose between us it won't be her (and that fight was about something so dumb it doesn't bear repeating, but apparently I became the bad guy in it).

Anyhow, as chicken poo as it is to stay silent I would rather hide and live happily with the people I care about, rather than rock the boat. Honestly, I just don't feel a need to scream it from the rooftops. Its like my underwear-do any of you need to know if I'm wearing the sexy red stringy thing or the granny pannies? Nope, you don't. I know some here may say that I'm not being honest or "druid" or...I dunno...something, but seriously-when you meet a new person do you walk up and ask hey, what do you believe? I think religion should be private, something you feel/do/understand in your soul-no one else is going to understand exactly how you feel or why you feel it. So no need to make sure everyone else knows about, unless you want to.

The nice thing is the lessons come in a plain brown package so it doesn't scream out DRUID LESSONS HERE but if you have nosy siblings/parents it doesn't sound like delivery to home would be a good thing. Since your a student do you have a mailbox at the school where you could have them sent (I know some schools have their own mini-post offices for the students, might be an idea. My school doesn't but my brothers' does and its nifty.) Or maybe you can deliver to your work? Since you said your town is small, maybe get a PO Box in the town your school is in?

*hugs* Good luck!

[Huathe]

" Discreet is neat "

[Zylah]

I think there is a little bit of a false dichotomy thing happening here. The choice is being represented (inaccurately, I think) as being between a flamboyant one-man parade announcing 'I AM DRUID, HEAR ME ROARRR!' and being a secret agent who lives by stealth and ninja skillz.

No one, so far as I can see, is suggesting that Myrde should scream from the rooftops about his OBOD course. It is rather unwise to scream ANY intent from the rooftops, especially when your journey is just beginning, and you don't really know what twists and turns may lie ahead.

I tend to agree with everyone that the safest, most discreet choice is probably a P.O. box. However, I also agree with Lorraine and Art; approaching the course in a secretive way is a little different from approaching it in a private way. I think that can be illustrated in the title of this thread - "hiding naughty stuff"; I know it's a joke, tongue-in-cheek, and so forth - but as it is said, 'Many a true word is spoken in jest'.

I don't minimize the difficulty of being a minority, especially in cases like this, where Druidry is feared and hated by people who really have no idea what it is. I mentioned in another thread how awful it was when my children came home with a pamphlet from their father's fundamentalist Christian church, filled with a dozen pages of rumor, half-truth, and outright lies about Druidry. My littlest son couldn't sleep for a week, he was so terrified I would burst into flames and be dragged to hell right in front of him.

So yeah, it can be extremely difficult. The important thing, I'm finding, is finding peace in the still center of your being, as the Druid peace prayer says; to be completely at ease with this path you're taking, knowing that however misunderstood you are, you are doing what is right for you. If others create melodrama about it, that is their problem, not yours.

You don't have to trumpet your chosen path all through town; but you also don't have to hide it, as if it were a shameful thing. Simply live it, and let others decide how they will respond - if they feel a need to respond at all. I see no problem with getting a PO box in recognition of the fact that it's the only way you can expect any privacy; but I wouldn't advise creating a clandestine attitude about OBOD, because that tends to reinforce people's ideas that there's something wrong with it.

Druidry is certainly about respect, which includes respect for privacy; it's also about dignity. Myrde, this is your path, and it is ultimately your business alone how you choose to handle it. But whatever you choose to do should be done without fear or shame. Druidry is a way of life; it is new and ancient at the same time, full of joy and solemnity, and lots of other seeming paradoxes you'll discover for yourself if you continue in it.

There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel defensive about. If you can truly feel that way about it yourself, it's much less likely that others will overreact to their own mistaken ideas. You can't control their responses, just your own approach. Much of the Bardic course is about straight-up honesty with yourself ABOUT yourself; learning to be like a tree, which intertwines its roots with others for collective strength, but stands solitary, straight and tall.

However you handle this, I wish you every good thing as you continue on your path.

[Huathe]

Zylah,

That is so very well said!

[DarcArchona]

I'm sorry for the situation you are in, it cannot be easy. It took me years to tell my parents that I was not Christian at all, and yet that was probably 5 years ago. My father who I thought was the more conservative one answered it simply with, 'if it makes you happy, go with it.' While on the other hand, my mother still treats me like a little child who doesn't know how to choose the 'right' choices (i'm pretty sure half of this is maternal instinct to look after a child, the other half is her personality/views on life).

Granted, I also moved across the country from them and only see them once or twice a year so they have swept that so called secret under the proverbial carpet. Though if you end up being disowned/de-homed, you never know it could be the best thing for you in the long run. The path for us isn't always clear until it's been traveled.

~Brian

[Zylah]

Zylah,

That is so very well said!

Thanks, Ent.

[Huathe]

Zylah, You are soo welcome!