by Niniene » 21 Mar 2009, 04:44
I have come to realize I have fears that throw other fears off balance. I'm afraid of failure, but because I've been victim to the pushy "You're not good enough" treatment, I'm afraid of success as well. I'm afraid of having nothing accomplished in my life but I'm also afraid of doing too much and burning out. I'm afraid of abandonment and also afraid I'll push people away and force myself alone. I have a slight fear of losing the rest of my eyesight and becoming completely blind, but at the same time, I would embrace total blindness over our visually over-stimulated world. I have a slight hearing deficiency and I'm afraid of becoming completely deaf and losing the ability to hear music or spoken word or the soft and subtle sounds of nature. Since I have no depth perception, and also due to the fact I was nearly forced on one as a child, I'm afraid of downward escalators. I sometimes can handle going up them, but it takes being with a person or group of people I trust. I can't do any direction of escalator alone yet. Lastly, I'm afraid of being alone inside a running car for too long for fear it might move or do something I couldn't control. Come to think of it, I don't like being in the car with an erratic driver either for fear of an accident or injury. I've been in some minor seat-jerker's but I don't like those much either.