"Fordham is sweating like a hippo in a power shower."
"He's majestic, just like that great big fat bloke singing Nessun Dorma."
"He's got a heart as big as Moby-Dick!"
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"Bristow reasons ... Bristow quickens ... Aaahhhhh, Bristow."
"Jocky Wilson ... what an athlete."
"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33 he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer - Bristow is only 27"
"The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them"
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy."
"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions."
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
"John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians"
"When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror"
"This guys so good, he could play without arms!"
"There's only one word for that - magic darts!"
"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"
"I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow"
"Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles"
"Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax."
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"That's the créme da le milk, that is".
"He's twitching like a Frog in a Blender."
"Mark my words, this kid is a future World Champion" - said about virtually every player under the age of 30 that appears on television while he is commentating, including Colin Lloyd, Wayne Mardle, Mark Dudbridge, Adrian Lewis, James Wade and Michael van Gerwen, none of whom have won the World Championship yet.
"Not even Harry Houdini covered in rubbing oil could have got out of that one!" (Commentating on a particularly tricky pool shot)
"James Wade is a bag of nerves, like a bag of ice cold spanners in a sack."
The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them
You will be confused with a baseball player.
"He's carrying his left leg, which, to be honest, is his only leg."
"And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of this Cup now than any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway." (JOHN MOTSON, BBC)
"Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals." (PETER WITHE, speaking on Radio 5 Live)
"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal." (JIMMY HILL)
Bardolino wrote:Here's another great sporting quoteThe bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.
- Brian Johnston, BBC
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
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