I like it as it is. But if you want to keep adding to it that's fine. I have a number of poems that I add verses to regularly (one about my daughter growing up - each time she hits a milestone, I add another verse, and another about a mountain that burned last summer. As the seasons changed I wrote more about it.)
If anything, I think you could do something at the beginning with dawn and waking of the summer day, and then something to bring it to a close as the stars shine through and the crickets chirp as you settle down for the night.
I don't see anything I would cut out of it though. They are all lovely images.
Jingle 2008 IL2009 BS
Young and alone on a long road, Once I lost my way: Rich I felt when I found another; Man rejoices in man. ~ Hávamál
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