all you had to do

[meicalabawen]

all you had to do
was to give me the goddamn pills
when I told you to

all you had to do
was to do what I told you
when I told you to

and it's all your fault
everything is
that i'm here and not there
not screaming
seagulls! goddamn seagulls!
not fighting feral cats
for food
not stealing from tourists
or hiding from the law

you don't understand
you never do
this isn't better
it's just not what i do
and all you had to do
was to give me the goddamn pills
when i told you to

[skydove]

What a sharp glittering fragment of someone's frame of mind, anger and despair. -brilliant !

[meicalabawen]

Thank you.

This was at 5am this morning. My older son is bipolar. It's pretty much what came out of his mouth, except the bits in bold that I added.

all you had to do
was to give me the goddamn pills
when I told you to

all you had to do
was to do what I told you
when I told you to

and it's all your fault
everything is
that i'm here and not there
not screaming
seagulls! goddamn seagulls!
not fighting feral cats
for food
not stealing from tourists
or hiding from the law

you don't understand
you never do
this isn't better
it's just not what i do
and all you had to do
was to give me the goddamn pills
when i told you to

[meicalabawen]

and to place my son's demand in context, every morning at 5am i give him his first meds of the day. usually he sits up and takes them with water. this time he wanted to take them dry, while he was lying down on his back, and i told him no, to sit up. that's all it took.

life can be such fun