Sub-Liminal

[Fox]

I wrote 3 poems in January I'm pretty pleased with, this is the first:

Sub-Liminal

Beneath the foam our footprints smoothed away
Above the line the evidence is clear
We walked, we paused, we ran on such and such a day
Below the line our lives just disappear

Stolen by time’s unyielding tide
That washes every mark to make the sand pristine
As if memories are dirty marks it’s best to hide
And better soon forgot once seen

Birds leave no wingprints in the air
Why then should my prints persist in sand
Time and nature never use the concept “fair”
You see the world renewed at every hand

King, beggar, child and crone alike are all washed out to sea
And love only lasts as long as memory

[Moonleaf]

Hey Fox, I really like this poem. It's up to you but I advise you change the word "foam" in the first line to "sea-foam" just to make it clear to the reader from the off that you are imagining the shore for there is no clue in the title. And you need a question-mark further down where you ask yourself a question.

Hope you don't mind my saying that...and I only said it because the poem works for me.

Heath

[Fox]

Hey Fox, I really like this poem. It's up to you but I advise you change the word "foam" in the first line to "sea-foam" just to make it clear to the reader from the off that you are imagining the shore for there is no clue in the title. And you need a question-mark further down where you ask yourself a question.

Hope you don't mind my saying that...and I only said it because the poem works for me.

Heath

Hi Heath, thanks for the suggestions.

I like foam as it suits the rhythm of the line better for me. Sea-foam would be one syllable too many for that line. I don't mind leaving the reader guessing for a few lines what is going on.
And I think the question is okay without a question mark. I purposefully left out all line-ending punctuation. I think the question is clear without it, and it's really a rhetorical question, I'm not expecting an answer.

It's good to get feedback!