Your Name

[shirley mclaren]

Hi all

Maybe a silly question, but has anyone felt they should change their birth name?  Generally, names don't bother me.  Whilst I don't particularly like my name, I have never had an urge to change it.  However,  lately I have become "obsessed" with the name Aine.  I am wondering if perhaps this is something coming through from a past life?  My ancestry is Irish, Scottish and Welsh.

BB

Shirley

[Crowsfeet]

Hi Shirley,

I changed my birth name years ago.  I was named by and for an aunt with whom I had a stormy relationship.  She gave me her name.  She was disliked by my entire family and when I did something wrong, people would say you're just like your aunt.  I never related to my name.

I finally decided that I didn't want her name for the rest of my life and so I changed it legally.  I've been much happier since.  It was a big job because I was older and there was so many things I had to change my name on, but it was worth the effort.  

You could always change it informally, like a nickname, live with it for a while and see if it is something that is really you.  Change it on the board first.

Best wishes,
Ellyn

[Bracken]

Hi Shirley.

Here in England it is actually really easy to change your name.  I detested my surname when I was 18 because of the unfortunate patriarchal link and so I changed it by statutory declaration.  Bear in mind that was in 1982, but all I had to do was get a statutory declaration form and fill it in with my new name.  I decided to give myself the surname Victoria because at that time I often slept in Victoria train station in Manchester.  :whistle:

I had to go into the solicitor and read out my declaration and give him £3 (probably more expensive now) and he stamped it and that was that.  I photocopied my declaration for the bank and other relevant bodies but I lived with that name for the next 18 years.

I reverted to my birth name (post-counselling hahaha) as it is MY NAME but that change was much easier.  I didn't have to declare anything.  Just start using it again.

I loved being Maria Victoria for those years.  It was a powerful protection.

By the way, there is no difference to the statutory declaration if you now have a married name.  I was living under my married name at the time I changed to Victoria.  Another unfortunate patriarchal link.

Yours in harmony with her birth name.

[Bracken]

And to Ellyn Ravenswing.

My heart really goes out to you with your "just like your Aunt" story.  How insensitive people can be sometimes.  

Before I reclaimed my birth name I went totally OTT and tried to change my name to Dark Light.  First name Dark.  Last name Light.  I was living in Co. Mayo at the time.  They turned me down.  Haha.

Good for you for being so proactive in self-creation.  :pent:

[Twyrch]

 Bear in mind that was in 1982, but all I had to do was get a statutory declaration form and fill it in with my new name.  I decided to give myself the surname Victoria because at that time I often slept in Victoria train station in Manchester.  :whistle:

An audible groan could be heard from geneaologists around the world.  :swoon:

Just kidding with you...  :-)

[Bracken]

Once a Fall fan, always a Fall fan.

xxx

[Twyrch]

Once a Fall fan, always a Fall fan.

xxx

eh?  :blink:

[Bracken]

The Fall.  From my home town.  And brilliant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fall

Victoria.  From their 1988 album The Frenz Experiment.

I'm sure you'll find it on allofmp3 (shhhhh) or something.

Turn it up, and dance, Twyrch.  

And have a stonking 2007.

xxx

[Lisebethea]

Hi Shirley,

 I'm totally with you on this one. The spirits in my life know me by a different name, as I found out many years ago. The name I'm using here is that one, rather than my given names which have always seemed lacking and not really me. I respond better to the name here so much better. It's very much a warm fuzzy, I have to admit.

 Ellyn's idea of using a new, chosen name like a nickname first is brilliant. Using it on the board could be a great first step. Less hassle and paperwork, especially if you don't feel comfortable with it after some time... Since I believe in past lives and lives beyond this world into the spiritual realms, I believe it could be something related to that but it may very well be something else. Unfortunately, I have no true advice to give you as far as exploring the reasons go.


Many blessings in your decision!

Lisebethea Laroere

[padraiginana]

I wonder...is there a meaning to "Aine" that strikes you?

I ask this because I think that "feeling" connected to your name is important.  (...and I am not usually one to put emphasis on the "feeling" one has!   )

I used to hate my given name  -- and I mean HATE!  My given name was "Patricia Anne."  I guess it isn't all that terrible...but it was a name that was sort of chosen by default (long story!).  There was no connection -- no beloved relative, no story, not even a love of the sound of the name.  How could this represent me?  or my family?  or even my relatives?  And, although it sounds sort of silly, I resented it a bit.

Anyway...eventually I looked up the meaning of my name (I know, I know, kinda corny).  "Patricia Anne," as it turns out, means "noble grace."  It really sturck me -- how could a rather random name have a meaning that was such an incredible attribute to live up to?  After knowing the meaning, it became...well, more meaningfull to me.  It was something to work toward.  It was something I could connect to -- something that I aspired to be.  And because of this, I was no longer resentful of te randomness of my name -- in fact, I really kind of like it!

Anyway, the point is, what do you feel a connection to -- and why?  As superficial as it may seem, it IS your label.  If "Aine" has a special connection to you -- a deep connection -- go for it!  The only thing I would suggest is...know WHAT name you feel connected to, and try to find out WHY it has meaning to you personally.

Best wishes to you!
Padraigin Ana (Padraigin=Patricia...Ana=Spanish for Anne)

[Twyrch]

The Fall.  From my home town.  And brilliant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fall

Victoria.  From their 1988 album The Frenz Experiment.

I'm sure you'll find it on allofmp3 (shhhhh) or something.

Turn it up, and dance, Twyrch.  

And have a stonking 2007.

xxx

Thanks! I'll check it out on Limewire.  :whistle:  

[wintercat]

That's so interesting.  I had my name changed a little over a year ago and chose Aine, pronounced Anya or Enya, AEnya.  I also chose Caitlin as the middle name and chose my surname from one of my distant relatives on my mother's side.  Growing up I hated my given name and had a lot of teasing too.  When I was about 14, I unofficially changed my name to Ann and then just kept that for the longest time even on my official papers due to an error the driver's license department let me get away with.  I'm really happy with the new name and all it stands for.  My people are also Irish & Scottish.  The name is a Goddess name and also a power name.  It took me over a year to finally go through with it and I went through a lot of other paperwork getting it changed on lots of documents.  It's not that expensive, just takes a lot of copies of the court document and mailing to this and that agency.  I love the new name.  However, I have just begun spelling it for people when they ask my name.  Since I am in the states noone knows how to pronounce it and they either call me Annie or they think the spelling is wrong.  Welcome to the Aines of today!  :shake:

[Sorcha A. R.]

Wonderful topic, Shirley.  I plan to legally change my name sometime in the near future because the name given to me by my parents translates to "Warrior for Christ," which I believe does not fit me on many levels.

But that brings me to a question that has me wondering.  Is it an insult to my parents if I change my name (especially since I plan to change my last name too)?  I'm not changing it because I hate them or anything.  I know they meant well, but I just don't like the idea of going my entire life wearing a name that doesn't suit me.  

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any opinions on this?

[Lisebethea]

I can understand your concerns, Sorcha. Personally, I don't see it as an insult to anyone in changing your name. However, your parents may be very different in their opinions. For some, the name given onto them by their parents are rather sacred and changing it for your reasons may not be well understood. Other people, however, may be more understanding. It really depends on your family and how they understand your choice.

 If you feel a strong need to change your name, I say that it is in your right to do so-- personally, I would find that doing otherwise would be like lying to yourself, or trying to conform to something that may not be you... However, if you chose to do so, I recommend explaining it to your parents to the best of your ability. Tell them that it has nothing to do with them-- that you still love them, respect them, but you feel you need to make this change to be more true to yourself.

Slàinte!

Lise

[serenarian]

I don't dislike my birth name, but I do use a Pagan name when it comes to talking to the Goddess and God and fellow pagans, because I believe it has more meaning for my spiritually.

[Sadhaka]

I'm in the process of changing my first name. I've not used it for years, and all the way through my life I've been known by my second name only.
I feel now I'd like to have a first name again, but like Sorcha mine has an inappropriate meaning - Virgin Mother of Christ.  :fear:  Ho I don't think so! The other meaning I've seen is Sea of Bitterness.

I'm using my chosen name on here to see how comfortable I feel with it, then I'll go get the papers signed to formally change my drivers licence and all that stuff.

I'm sure my father won't mind, he's always said for me to do as I will as long as I don't harm myself. He has also said for years that I'm big enough and ugly enough to make my own mind up.    He loves me though!

[Night Hawk]

I don't really like either of my given names. My first name means "Follower of Christ", my second means "Who is like God". I feel that I can't/don't live up to either. But I'm not really sure what new name I'd choose, if I did change my name.

I think I would pick Julianna. It means "full of youth".

[John]

I think despite the "meaning" of a name. A name is what you make of it. Not what some person decided to lable it.

Though after looking up my name meaning, being "God is Gracious", I almost feel a need to change it

But my middle name means "Peace Ruler" which is cool

[Melonfish]

i find actually my name suits me fine, i used to have issues with it but i outgrew thats stage thankfully  :oops: my name peter means Rock and its actually who i am, i am a rock. standing steady on the shore as the waves crash around me. i provide shelter for my loved ones and i'm there to anchor them when they need me. this is actually how i picture myself and it really is me thats who i am and i'm glad of it.
my middle name Bernard i always wanted to change. i'm named after my mothers father and he is very dear to me but i always was at odds with the name until recently. i found out it means Great Bear so now i love it
pete

[Moonpanther]

But that brings me to a question that has me wondering.  Is it an insult to my parents if I change my name (especially since I plan to change my last name too)?  I'm not changing it because I hate them or anything.  I know they meant well, but I just don't like the idea of going my entire life wearing a name that doesn't suit me.  

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any opinions on this?

Both my husband and I decided to change our names before we got married. I changed my middle and last names (I have always liked my first name - it means: to be sacred and attention-getting"). But my husband wanted to change his entire name.

My family had no problem with it, I think because I was keeping the first name and my last name had been changed as a child when my mother got married, there was no real connection there. Also as a woman in the western world there is still a pretty big likleyhood that my name would have changed when I got married anyhow.

My husband's family had/have major problems with it however. They could not understand why he wanted to do that and were especially hurt by the potential change of the last name. So much so that he only ended up changing his first two names. None of his family will even consider calling him by his new name, but this is understandable, it has only been a year and over time as more and more people come to know him by his new name only things may change.

I was, however, a little disappointed with the fact that he hadn't stood up for the new surname... he had brought up the concept to begin with and we had found a surname that said exactly what we had wanted it to say, many people already knew us by that name only and on top of that the name had basically been given to us by the faeries with a distinct 'do as you are told' overtone. Therefore, when we got married I kept the last name we had chosen as a second middle name (meaning that my name is insanely long), because I believe that once we had made a commitment to that particular spirit we could not just back down.

When we have children (eventually) they will also have that name as a second middle name.

I suppose what I am saying is that if you decide to make a commitment to change your name (which is a very powerful device after all) make sure that you are firm in that decision before actually committing.

That said, changing my name has made me feel much more like 'me' and I very rarely even think about either of us with the old names... like this is how it was meant to be.