Discipline and children

[Merlyn]

There are some things kids have to learn on their own, of course,
I think parents can be too over protective, or hoping the kids at least stay safe.

Each kid wil be a bit different, and some will just have to see what life is all about.

[Ghostrider]

Very true Merlyn.

I guess when it comes to children, it's not just teaching THEM discipline, but also about US having the discipline to know when to let go.

Of course.. there's nothing wrong with letting them know, we'll be there in case they grind the curb.

[RockyMac]

How to teach your child Manners:
1. Set a good example. It's unfair to expect politeness of a child if his parents are not
polite themselves.
2. Start using words and phrases like 'please,' 'thank you,' 'excuse me,' 'I'm sorry,' and
'may I?' as early as possible around your child. Encourage your child to do the same.
Take care what language you use around children; they mimic the way adults speak.

3. Ask your child to address adults with a certain degree of formality - that is, Ms. Lee,
Mrs. Doe, Mr. Smith - unless the adult tells them to do otherwise

4. Avoid ignoring bad behavior or waiting to talk about it. Address a rule as soon as
your child breaks it.

5. Bring up the behavior again in private so you can discuss it more thoroughly and
make sure your child understands how to behave in the future.

6. Praise your child for good behavior.
____________________
http://www.learningchocolate.com

[cursuswalker]

Naughty Step!

Always have a Naughty Step/Chair/Stool/Alligator Pit.

[DJ Droood]

4. Avoid ignoring bad behavior or waiting to talk about it. Address a rule as soon as
your child breaks it.

5. Bring up the behavior again in private so you can discuss it more thoroughly and
make sure your child understands how to behave in the future.

Must have been on vacation last summer when Rockymac made his one and only post...must say # 4 & 5 are a great way to ensure the child will act up again and again, any time they want your attention..

(I wonder what motivated young Rocky to join, post about something he had no obvious knowledge about and never come back again?...Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 23:53 Last visited: Wed Aug 11, 2010 23:55....fast typer too! ...I think 2 seconds must be some sort of record!)

[Ghostrider]

4. Avoid ignoring bad behavior or waiting to talk about it. Address a rule as soon as
your child breaks it.

5. Bring up the behavior again in private so you can discuss it more thoroughly and
make sure your child understands how to behave in the future.

Must have been on vacation last summer when Rockymac made his one and only post...must say # 4 & 5 are a great way to ensure the child will act up again and again, any time they want your attention..

(I wonder what motivated young Rocky to join, post about something he had no obvious knowledge about and never come back again?...Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 23:53 Last visited: Wed Aug 11, 2010 23:55....fast typer too! ...I think 2 seconds must be some sort of record!)

Maybe daddy was a Christian Minister and caught him in the act?

[leiwolf]

My nephew knows that if he crosses the line, i will give him a clout around the old earole. However what I tend to do is ask him a question. Ie "Andreas, what would it signify to you, if i do a quick roundhouse kick to your head, a double blackflip, throughing you through a brick wall, 50 punches to the stomach and finishing with a complex kata and a fireball." to which he replies that he doing something to wind me up, he then modified his behaviour. I found that by using this technique, that not only does it work for me, its also doing it in such a way he doesn't feel like he being punished but corrected

[Phyto]

Now I remember why I left (having been an OBODy since the 1990s it saddened me that so many on this board were for hitting - not very enlightened to advocate violence against children and I would be very surprised if Philip Carr-Gomm, the Chosen Chief, would advocate it either).

Sencha to my mind and way of thinking, along with a number of other people on this thread thankfully, was on the right track on this and is very knowledgeable (but was poorly treated by what can only be described as predictable dominant behaviour by certain people who use dominant language and tactics and yet completely miss the point because domination is their MO). Spanking/hitting and so on, regardless is never acceptable towards children - it is abuse and is about domination - you can't frill it up. There are so many other ways to raise a child, a small human being, which don't require violence. To hit an adult human being is a crime and yet a child is just a small human being - yes they haven't matured yet and cognitively have differences and so forth but why hit?

On a Bardic level there is creation and inspiration and communication, on an Ovate level there is healing yourself and looking within and I've not yet reached Druid level but I'm sure that in terms of OBOD we don't advocate violence against children either.

Many of the 'experts' do work with families and are parents themselves. Yes, your child may have reached adulthood having been "spanked" and not be dead but wouldn't it have been better to have found a different way? Spare the rod and spoil the child is so Dominant, so non-Druidic...and citing animal behaviour doesn't make a great debate point. We don't eat our babies which many predators do! Human babies are not normally eaten by the male if he marries their mother. It's not just about reacting to a situation and not being able to hit in order to do so - it's about actually taking the time, the creativity, to unlearn and to personally develop yourself to build a good relationship with a child that the situation doesn't get to the crisis point of "needing to hit" in the first place. Other methods work really well - it just takes some open mindedness. Yes hitting works really well if you want a child to fear, to dread, to have discipline from something outside themselves and to feel pain - we can do this with dogs, rats and so on by training them with electric shocks - it's called avoidance conditioning - but why are OBOD members not more open to unlearning this approach?

Also, the Just Say No to drugs campaign (on illegal recreational drugs) citation does not really apply to pharmaceutical grade drugs that help manage symptoms of ADHD and ADD. Yes it would be better if management would involve more holistic approaches such a nutrition, and yes there have been problems with some, but for many pharmaceutical intervention can actually help (despite so many scare stories in the press - and yes there have been deaths - there are lots who are helped too).

PS Good to see Scouting helpers here.

[illion]

Dear, Phyto.

I think it is very sad, as well, that some people choose to spank their children.

When you spank your child, you are creating a future war, because you teach violence. If you spank your child in my country, your child will be taken away from you, and taken care of by nonviolent adults.

Blessings on your path.