Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was "Bach, Bach, Bach."
* A symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. There's a long passage during which the bass violin players don't have a single note. They decided to sneak out and have a few beers. One of the players made sure they'd have a little extra time by tying up the last few pages of the score so that the conductor would have to stop and untie it.
When the AWOL players staggered back to their seats, the conductor looked angry and tense. No wonder: It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied and the bassists were loaded.
* Musical scholars were intrigued by reports of strange sounds coming from Beethoven's grave. They studied the sounds and discovered they were Beethoven's music being played backward. Conclusion: Beethoven was just decomposing.