Part Two
On the winter solstice
December twenty-first
At sunrise I was
In a circle
A native Canadian
Ceremony
With many people
I went because
I knew if I didn't go
I'd never know
Just what would happen
And so I went
Though my heart was afraid
I decided I must overcome
That dread
And attend
So I went
I walked 'round that circle
Three times
Moving to the beat of a drum
I couldn't hear the words
So I couldn't sing
They were not English
I know that much
They sounded exotic
Lovely words I would never know
I thought the drums would frighten me
I thought I would find
The heartbeat of Nature foreign
But I found it too quiet!
Wanted it louder
Wanted to hear the singing better
Wanted the drummingsong
To go faster, louder, more excited
As sunrise came nearer
I wanted somehow to know
If the sun was rising
By the sound
I wanted people to cheer
As the light struck the Earth
I wanted there to be
More power
I am surprised at my feelings
I thought I would be afraid
Perhaps I am changing
As the seasons
Perhaps I am changing
Like a tree growing taller, stronger, healthier
Perhaps I am being reborn
As the sun at the winter solstice
Perhaps I really am a phoenix
The fires of fear have burned to ashes
And I am rising out, unafraid
I do not understand why I am so changed
I do not understand these forces at all
Maybe I never will
That is ok with me.
Copyright by Phoenix, December 25, 2004.
I was inspired to attend the sunrise ceremony by Explorer's signature:
"You never know if you never go..."
. When I heard there was going to be this ceremony and that any member of the public might attend I was initially very afraid and said no bloody way I would go. Then Explorer's words kept whispering long and drawn out...you never know...if ya never go... I realized these words were true and that if I didn't attend that ritual I would always wonder what I might have learned from it. Thank you Explorer for that inspiring line!
I did not really participate in this ceremony, but I was there and listened as best I could with my poor hearing. I didn't find the drums loud enough. I did have my hearing aids on a noise-reduction setting because I hate listening to traffic and my hands were too cold to take out of my mitts and change the settings.
Btw, the first drummingsong was mostly fiction and this one is non-fiction as well as I can remember what happened. The first poem was just my thoughts on drummingsongs and this poem was my memory of a very special day, the winter solstice of 2004. I am officially celebrating winter solstice instead of Christmas for the first time this year. Hmmm, I think I might need to write a poem about that...
Phoenix
