My son

[Mellinda]

Still missing my special son, it’s just past the 12 anniversary of his passing.
There was an outbreak of meningitis at the hospital when he was born he was only 2 month old when he caught it and was left paralysed I nursed him till he passed over aged 24.

Poems I have written, and one by his brother.

30.08.73-11.02.1998

Leon my son

My dear sweet Leon so quiet now
Not a sound is heard,
I wonder around the house now so still
The clock still ticking,
I look into your room, so empty now
My heart still breaking,
The sun is shining down where you slept
I straiten your pillow
I wont to hold you and never let you go,
My arms are empty,
Sitting here sobbing, rocking back and forth
No longer quiet.

1998

Not today please

The door opens I step out onto the path I look up at the sky, a cold bright February day the sun is shining but a mist is upon my eyes; people are gathering around then I see the lovely flowers, yes today now is the day.

My life has been turn upside down this last week, new this day would come, but pushed it away into the bottom corner of my heart. Deep down so as not to feel the rising pain the Doctors said this day would come, I thought if I didn’t think about this day it would never come so I banish it from my world.

A word is whispered in my ear, I feel the pain rising its so overwhelming I try to keep it down, then again “Are you ready”? Someone takes my hand I feel dizzy can hardly stand. "Do you need a moment more?" The man asks I stand there my head spinning.

My heart is breaking I can no longer push the pain into that corner so deep down, I try to speak but can only hear my heart beating. I try to hold back the tears welling up inside, the pain now filling every part of my body.

I look up at the sky such a lovely day. I look then at the kind man standing here holding out his hand.
I take it and nod as I can not speech, yes now is the day the day I tried so hard to forget, I look at the coffin draped in flowers of every colour. Now its time to say good bye to my beautiful special son, the day I wished would never come.

Leon 1973-1998

Leon Time to let go

My dear's Leon,
It's been a long sad time since you left.
The house has been empty without you,
Every day I Speak your name,
Hopping to ease the pain.

I feel your presence,
You ask me to let you go,
Leon I know its time, I let you go,
So with heavy heart I say,
Good night and God bless.

Love you always my special son,
I will look after your teddy,
He will keep me company in the night,
Until we meet again,
I send this goodnight kiss.

Forever loving and missing you.
Mommy xxx
2000 Scattered Ashes

This poem was written by his brother know as Oakman on the forum, he was only nine when he wrote it and it was read out at Leon’s funeral just 2 years later.

My brother
In the start of my time
Why did nature commit a crime?

You may not think I feel pain
But I assure you I am just the same

If you don’t treat me like a toy
God will bring happiness laughter and joy

If you catch me cough or wheezing
Don’t shout or call me displeasing

At last when my time has come
Don’t cry and be glum

For some just like me are at rest and free

[Mafalda]

for Leon
for you

[Dragonwyst]

Melinda

A wise person I knew once said that grief never lessens - it stays the same size. But, your life grows larger around that empty space. I wish you well, I wish you peace at this time.

Dragonwyst

[D'Arzhur]

Dear Melinda,
So much beauty and so much love mixed with so much sorrow...
I send you and your two sons Love...
I feel honored and deeply touched to have been able to read those poems.

[lotuswelcome]

To Leon so loved!
To you Mellinda and to Leon's brother

thank you for sharing

[effervescentbirdsong]

Your poems are very touching. It is sad to have lost a child. I can not even imagine how painful that must be. A friend of mine's son died around the same age due to the flesh eating disease. This was about five or six years ago and she is still grieving. That is something you can never truly get over.
Apparently, god doesn't give us anything we can not handle. Given some situations though that can be hard to believe.
I wrote a poem for a senior who lived in our building who passed away. He was one of the gardeners in our building and I was fairly close to him. The last time I talked to him he was looking out of the laundry room window into his garden. He was not going to get another year in the garden and he was reminiscing and that is why I also called the poem The Laundry Room Window.
I think there might still be a copy of it on the Co-op's computer so I could post it here possibly.
Ta.