The passing of our group

[wolf560]

Although this memoriam is for a group
it touched the lives of so many people
I just wanted to publicly say goodbye

We formally dissolved and laid to rest
our beloved group tonight.
We felt its passing as the candles died
we go now our separate ways
enriched (somewhat) but saddened all

"Ten years ago
by the fading light
of an eclipsing Wolf Moon
we consecrated our group
Midnight Eclipse

Tonight
by the fading light
of an eclipsing Oak Moon
we say goodbye to our group
Midnight Eclipse"

Midnight Eclipse
Wolf Moon 2000 to Oak Moon 2010
Great beginnings and lofty goals
Some good memories of many souls
So many people gathered round
and where we stood was hallowed ground
But we grew too fast without a rule
to limit the actions of a fool
Please rest well and know you stood
for things done well and done for good
As our wintery breath escapes our ice cold lips
we bid goodbye to Midnight Eclipse

[DJ Droood]

Good for you folks for keeping it going 10 years.

I wonder what the typical life cycle of a small, esoteric group is? Ours was effective for about 6 years from germination, to a peak about 4 years later, then a couple of years of disintergration. We went from 2 to 4 to 10 and hit most of the "spokes" on the wheel for a few years, and had workshops and went to retreats. It was like all our energy built to a "big event" (a retreat we organized), then dissipation. Now the seeds are sitting in the soil, waiting for some rain and sun.

10 years seems like a good, healthy length of time for a group. We imagine they will keep growing forever when we start them, but maybe groups have a lifespan, or purpose/goal they have to accompish, then naturally expire.

[Heddwen]

It's great that you performed a rite for the closure of the group, somehow it rounds things off. I went through a similar thing, the coven that we started with as beginners did not grow with us. What had started with great intentions as a cooperative enterprise became a harshly served exercise in control. I'm sadly finding that this is a fairly common occurrence whereby the original mentor will not let go and let others flourish.

Spiritual likeminded friends disbanded and reformed several times before finally disintegrating the circle gradually. This was mainly due to the egocentric personality of the coven initiator - our growth was severely restricted and in the end we all parted ways naturally. Some physically left the area, others still move in different circles. We have all evolved and grown individually, that's why it's great when we do meet up the energy is still there. After all, we have shared so much together, rites of passage, gatherings, walking the wheel of the year, our joys and sadness and fun.

It was time to move on, onwards and forwards and I couldn't be happier on the druidic path, Here's to future friends and significant times ahead.

[wolf560]

Our group started out small, just the four of us.
We were born of three students that broke away in the midst of a "Witch War".
I was a solitaire Druid that had been studying for about twelve years.
All we wanted was to study our craft and learn from each other.
I was the only Druid, but the other three 'Witches' were also different from each other.
Egyptian, Norse, and Spiritualist plus me = a very odd group (LOL)
We started as the "Coven of" but soon became the "Coven & Grove of"....

Within three months we had grown to eight people and within a year to 15-20.
Soon everyone wanted to be a part of us...
...I formed the Order of the Star as a way to have people associated with us without being formally asked into the group itself. The Order took on a life of its own and grew within a year to be over 200 people strong.
...and that was where the trouble started...
...we had grown too fast and had not set down guidelines for balance.

The Order of the Star had grown to 350 people and was hosting "Community Pagan gatherings at the spokes of the Wheel". Solitaires flocked to the Order because there was no entry requirement other than to have fun and bring a side dish. All seven Covens in town eventually joined as well to be a part of larger gatherings (Beltane and Samhain 2002 were both 48 hour weekend events with over 400 Pagans attending...!!!)

One of the founding members moved away but wanted to still be in control

For two years that person maintained an email campaign trying to stay in control of the group. Rituals were tampered with, friendships strained, and then the phonecall spellcasting began. Midnight Eclipse was beginning to fracture and we could not stop it, since all of the members were integral members of the Order of the Star, it began to fracture as well. Soon the Solitaires found themselves siding against everything the Covens were trying to do. Since Midnight Eclipse was the only group that was not fully a Coven, it found itself in between the Solitaires and the Covens.

It was all over at that point and we told the entire world that we were "dissolving the group and retiring the circle". The Order of the Star likewise was disbanded (since I was going to Iraq and could not lead it, we decided to discontinue it for different reasons) In reality we simply told only the people we wanted to remain that we were going underground.

All the malcontents triumphantly proclaimed that they had "killed Midnight Eclipse".
Since Midnight Eclipse was tied directly to a larger group they claimed to have "destroyed the Order of the Star" as well. During the next major Pagan gathering, I was told that although the entire 450 strong community had SAID they would attend only one Coven actually showed up and that Coven of 25 people shattered that weekend.

The solitaires began gathering and forbid any covens (and/or coven members) from attending. The eight malcontents were identified by name and banned from any eveny regardless of what may happen later with the Covens. When I heard what had happened months later I made the remark that the solitaires had basically performed a "Glam Dicenn" ( apublic Bardic banning of an individual from the Tuath".

It seems the core group of eight malcontents had destroyed something everyone wanted kept alive... the Order of the Star.... since the eight malcontents belonged to all six of the other Covens, all of those Covens broke apart as they began formally removing these malcontents from their groups as well. One was a town Elder, and the other Elders removed him essentially by never talking to him ever again.

That was Imbolc 2004, and by Beltane 2004 the catastrophe was complete... of the Seven Covens in town (Midnight included) only two remained. One had shrunk from 25 people to about eight and the other had shrunk from 15 to maybe 5 or 6. Midnight still existed but nobody knew it really, we still had about 12 people plus about six deployed overseas.

The interesting part was all the solitaires in town banded together "to make sure the malcontents were never forgotten". Years later during a Pagan Pride Day, two of the malcontents showed up and were immediately asked to leave. The solitaires spread the word around the gathering that "the destroyers had shown up".

Midnight stayed the course until about 18 months ago when the last of our members deployed overseas. Most of us now have gone our separate ways but the memory of what we accomplished still stays with us. Military deployments and a shrinking economy caused people to lose contact over time.

For a brief time, Midnight Eclipse was the core of a larger group that gathered eight times a year for public rituals in a town that had been divided by personal conflicts. We sponsored weekly classes that taught everything from basic candlecraft to advanced hermetic spellwork. We found instructors in every field and asked them to come teach our students. The weekly classes were usually 8-10 people, but for the more popular classes we had to rent classrooms since we had over 40 people at times.

It remains a bright shining example of all of what is good in Paganism.
The solitaires still use the phrase "Back in the Age of Midnight" to this day...

We miss it and all the people that made it what it was...

[Heddwen]

Well the beauty of OBOD Druidry is the lack of 'leaders' and 'teachers'. There is no need for hierarchy and we cannot presume to teach each other. Lets not create any tiered systems or dogma. The self serving role of leader can only feed the personal ego, the ego is something that we address on our spiritual journey through druidry.We are able to commune directly with Source ourselves, in fact we are all equal clergy.

We are guided by the gwersi, our tutors and the shapes and signs in the Landscape that surrounds us. People will ask for guidance if it is required. Our tutors are supplied by the large umberella of OBOD, I have found their help invaluable and they have always guided me gently and supportively, never preaching.

[Huathe]

Mark,

It sounds sad. All the discontent.

You are obviously quite educated in the Druid-Pagan ways. That is awesome! How far have you gotten into the OBOD course? Or any other druid course?

[DJ Droood]

Well the beauty of OBOD Druidry is the lack of 'leaders' and 'teachers'. There is no need for hierarchy and we cannot presume to teach each other. Lets not create any tiered systems or dogma. The self serving role of leader can only feed the personal ego, the ego is something that we address on our spiritual journey through druidry.We are able to commune directly with Source ourselves, in fact we are all equal clergy.

We are guided by the gwersi, our tutors and the shapes and signs in the Landscape that surrounds us. People will ask for guidance if it is required. Our tutors are supplied by the large umberella of OBOD, I have found their help invaluable and they have always guided me gently and supportively, never preaching.

This is all true if you are content to do your own thing, but as soon as you engage spiritually with even one other person, it starts to get complicated...where are you going to meet, what are you going to do, who brings the candles and who brings the pita and hummus?...I don't think a leader has to be like the head priest or David Koresh, but someone who can help get things done....an organizer. Most of the group experiences I've been involved with that fall apart are because of lack of leadership, or poor leadership.

And when you are talking about a huge group like the one Wolf560 is talking about, not everyone will be OBOD and it would be a huge job to organize and keep running. Not everyone..in fact, hardly anyone....seems inclined or interested in doing largely unrecognized and unappreciated volunteer work. They simply want to turn up, if they feel like it, dance around, light a few candles, eat the pita and hummus and go home. Thank goodness for "leaders". (who usually stick around to clean up, as well.)

[wolf560]

Well the beauty of OBOD Druidry is the lack of 'leaders' and 'teachers'.

This is all true if you are content to do your own thing, but as soon as you engage spiritually with even one other person, it starts to get complicated... Most of the group experiences I've been involved with that fall apart are because of lack of leadership, or poor leadership.

Thanks DJ...
Yes, we needed "leadership" to do all of those thing you refer to; planning, guiding, etc. The malcontents were jealous and lazy... they showed up late bearing no food or drink, they partook of what they wanted, and when they were passed over for leadership roles themselves they began trying to tear it all down.

"Solitary work requires no leadership" is also incorrect... you have to be your own worst person sometimes.... "forcing yourself" to do the necessary work from time to time.

Any ritual that has more than two people will typically require a "leader". This is not a bad thing, and when a group is working in unison it is truly a magnificent thing to behold.

It is even more awesome to be a part of such a ritual..!!!

What the Order of the Star and Midnight Eclipse stood for was the best in all of us.
Our rituals were open to everyone and anyone could volunteer to write and lead any of the rituals we presented. Our classes were open as well and we never had enough room.

I have not had an experience like that in a very long time and I truly miss being part of a 300(+) real time real life group. Although I feel I am among friends again, this board does not compare with the feeling of meeting that many people every weekend to sit around a bonfire and talk about all things Pagan & Druidic.

[Bartholomew]

Well done on your achievement Wolf560 and commiserations on the end result. No experience is ever wasted, I think. Group dynamics is a curious thing. I am all for empowering people, we all have gifts and talents. However during the course of a project involving people and voluntary work in the community, I was surprised to see leadership and the striving for power evolve fairly rapidly. Causing dissent and a form of unwarranted bullying, most surprising. I had encountered a similar thing in a Christian community, where everyone seems to compete to be the best well versed bible adherent and doer of good works, especially if there is a priest around. So I suppose it boils down to the maturity of the members and their egos, involved in the group. Working towards one goal and the focus. I suppose we get to a position of self-sacrifice, our petty concerns, in the grand scheme of things are neither here nor there if we all want the same outcome. So I am wary of joining groups/committees, churches, new age gatherings, because it always always raises it's head. This top dog centre stage stuff. I just don't know anymore what to do. A group with no direction is going nowhere.

[wolf560]

How far have you gotten into the OBOD course? Or any other druid course?

Hello James..!!!

We retreated into solitude for almost 5 years after the group shattered. But it oly felt right to formally dissolve and say goodbye during the eclipse.

I had completed my Druidic courses with the Bandarach College of Druidry (BCD) and had been asked to become the "Student Liaison" for the BCD. My final "Druidic" task had been to form a real-life group and keep it together for at least a year, and the Order was already two years old.

I had started coursework with the ADF, the OBOD and the BDO but the Bandarach College of Druidry (BCD) was far more proactive back then. I had also become active in the Druid Network (TDN) working with TORC P.A.C. Bloos. The BCD believed in weekly student real time discussions online as well as student liaison interaction. The cost was free back then which was also a real plus. The main thing I liked about the BCD was that they kept track of each submission rather than making me submit the entire Bardic, Filidh (Ovate), and Druidic coursework in all at once. I talked to my liaison Raynor (the Chief Seer) almost daily... where we often discussed my submitted coursework.

I have started with the OBOD and the ADF coursework again.
But honestly.... after going through the years of study with the BCD I am not sure I feel like starting all over again from the beginning with another Druid group.

I have joined a local Asatru group and they welcome me as their "token Druid". For now, that is enough for me... we both have much to learn from each other and I cannot wait for the next phase to begin..!!!

I would like to think that my BCD Druidic completion is enough for me at least...
..as far as 'learning things'... I began my research back in 1982 spending hours in one library after another and then the internet opened up a new world to my watery eyes..!!

[Bartholomew]

That's ok Wolf560, no worries, no concerns. I must be wearing my cloak of invisibilty again on these old Druid forums. Leave a note next time Bart.No concurring across boards and Druid exchanges off boards is involved of course. Concurring is a dirty word in my can't be arsed dictionary. Peace and a goodwill. Good old will to you all. Much loves an a kisses from me. I am suffering from a Narcisstic personality disorder.Please ignore!
Pagans, Christians and Druids. Who needs' em , certainly not me! xx bags an bags of love from me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[wolf560]

So I suppose it boils down to the maturity of the members and their egos, involved in the group. This top dog centre stage stuff. I just don't know anymore what to do. A group with no direction is going nowhere.

Leadership should be something that concerns itself with the betterment of the group and not with just themselves. "Self-less Leadership" can be a rare thing indeed but they tend to be the most respected among all others. Unfortunately this is a rare thing I think.

We began calling it the "larger wand syndrome" (or LWS). What I noticed most of all was the outright jealousy that having people listen to you engendered. As one of us would start talking, you could actually see others getting jealous. I thought if we would begin calling these jealous people forward to talk would give them the attention they craved. It worked for some and simply embarrassed others (cannot win for losing can we?)

I think some of us just like being listened to by others.... while others desperately crave it to the exclusion of all else. Its nice to be noticed sometimes but for me I prefer to listen to things as people discuss things.

What we finally did to alleviate this was to eliminate the leadership positions and begin a round table hierarchy where everyone got a vote in things. This may have been why things lasted as long as they did, but in the end petty jealousies and the constant "measuring of peoples wands" just tore it all apart.

[wolf560]

That's ok Wolf560, no worries, no concerns. I must be wearing my cloak of invisibilty again on these old Druid forums.

Cheers..!!!

[Huathe]

Mark,

Your knowledge and experience shows in every conversation on this forum that you get into.

I just looked up the BCD. It appears they may now be defunct. Like the New Order of Druids they are affiliated with the Druid Network.

I have really enjoyed the NOD Bardic course though it has proven quite challenging for me. I started the course in mid-September and I am almost halfway through it. The course requires a minimum of six months to complete. I started out really fast on it but I have slowed down a bit now to give myself time to study and let it all sink in instead of trying to rush through the course. At first the simple layout of the course made it look really easy but I quickly found out that it is quite a challenge and promotes a lot of self-exploration and development. But according to the mentors I am doing well. One thing that does worry me about NOD is their small size and low activity. I hope they don't fall apart before I complete all their courses through the druid grade. It is a great program they have for free!

Still, I like the idea of the OBOD course. In time I may end up taking it too.

James

[Bartholomew]

What I have discovered on these Druid forums is much wisdom, diversity of thought, openess and tolerance on the whole. Even when people like me play up . So hats off to you all and I wish you the best in all that you do. I am not sure what spiritual path to go down myself and will use the new year for meditation, and a good self-examination of my own motives. I feel that I am harbouring a degree of anger and why I don't know, or for that matter who or what is provoking it. I have the Bardic grade and will press on with it. So sorry for my recent posts folks. Come the new year I won't be frequenting these message boards at all. A two year weaning off process.

[wolf560]

I just looked up the BCD. It appears they may now be defunct. Like the New Order of Druids they are affiliated with the Druid Network.

One thing that does worry me about NOD is their small size and low activity.

Interestingly enough, what tore the BCD apart was not very common. 9-11 had just occurred and many people on the web began debating what to do about it. The whole "Pagans are Peaceful" argument started up and spread like a virus. A lot of on-line arguments began dominating most of the Pagan discussion boards. The most common argument I remember was that Pagans should all be "Peaceful Vegetarians that should even not harm a fly".

The BCD did not really have that problem, the Chief Druid (Jack) was retired US Army, the Chief Bard (Breock) was active British SAS, and the student liaison (that would be me) was retired US Army. The Chief Seer (Raynor) was a history teacher and about 25% of our online mentors were educators in at least middle school. Many of the BCD were affiliated with the military, mostly in the USA but some from the U.K. and Europe as well.

The BCD basically broke apart because almost all of the leadership (and many of its members) deployed in support of military operations against Iraq. My last contact with the BCD was 2005. At that time Jack was struggling to keep it going, Breock was in Afghanistan with British Special Forces and I was in Iraq near Baghdad.


Push on with the NOD courses James....
Your dedication is admirable and I'm sure you will find much within the NOD course that will both inspire and challenge you.

Just remember one thing (something I always told my students)
Nothing worth it is ever easy
Nothing easy is ever worth it

[wolf560]

Come the new year I won't be frequenting these message boards at all.

We will miss you, I hope the new year works out for you.

Nollaig Shona..!! (Happy Christmas...!!!)

[Huathe]

Mark,

I never understood the stereotyped image of pagans being these " harmless " vegetarians. After all, ancient pagans hunted as well as farmed the land. Why should it be any different today? Pagans can eat meat as well as fruits and vegetables.

[Bartholomew]

Thanks Wolf560. I like you!

[Heddwen]

This is all true if you are content to do your own thing, but as soon as you engage spiritually with even one other person, it starts to get complicated...where are you going to meet, what are you going to do, who brings the candles and who brings the pita and hummus?...I don't think a leader has to be like the head priest or David Koresh, but someone who can help get things done....an organizer. Most of the group experiences I've been involved with that fall apart are because of lack of leadership, or poor leadership.

And when you are talking about a huge group like the one Wolf560 is talking about, not everyone will be OBOD and it would be a huge job to organize and keep running. Not everyone..in fact, hardly anyone....seems inclined or interested in doing largely unrecognized and unappreciated volunteer work. They simply want to turn up, if they feel like it, dance around, light a few candles, eat the pita and hummus and go home. Thank goodness for "leaders". (who usually stick around to clean up, as well.)

I think that the term 'leader' has fairly different connotations from that of 'organiser'. I have been a member of more than one group, the situation that I find works best is that of a cooperative we all had roles and areas of knowledge and expertise. Equal organisation, equally clearing up. As I mentioned this worked well until the founder member became egocentric and controlling, interfering with our interactions socially this eventually led to harrassment and threats. Legal and Police issues were involved although not with me thankfully.Her fear-that we will start a group without her. I know that she would sabotage this so our meetings are discreet.
In this case we did not have a HP, only a Guardian Priestess who would 'hold the space' for others in circle. For a group that was anti hierarchy, we ended up as an all female coven whose GP behaved in a Patriarchal fashion. We had outgrown her and her teachings. It was time to move on.