Managing conflict - a suggestion

[flowerfairy]

Hi everyone,

I'm really hesitant to write this but it's been on my mind a lot the last week or so and I really feel I need to at least make the suggestion even if it gets immediately dismissed or goes down like a lead balloon  :whistle:

So here goes...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been very aware of a lot of conflict on the board lately. I can't say I always understand all the ins and outs of it all as I've not been here all that long, and from what I can gather some issues stem back a long time, but it has upset me to see so many people having their feelings hurt and to watch, what have the potential to be constructive and helpful discussions, turn into intensely personal attacks. I've not in any way taken anyone's side in the discussions I've witnessed, they've not really had anything to do with me to be honest, but I care about this board and this community so it did affect me.

Now, I am not saying these conflicts were always a bad thing. In fact I think quite the opposite - that disagreement and discussion are healthy and essential if this message board is to grow and evolve and if it is to respect both freedom of speech and each individual's point of view. With a spirituality as diverse as Druidry I would have thought conflict was inevitable especially as the issues discussed here are often very personal and important to its members - people are passionate about the way they feel and rightly so.

However I can't help but feel there must be a better way of handling this element of the community, a way of turning it into something positive, and from my point of view at this time it doesn't really seem like these issues are being addressed properly.

My idea is this - if we except that conflict is an inevitable by-product of this board why not set up a team to deal with it?

How about a team of mediators - something that exists separately from the admin team or moderators who are chosen for their ability to remain impartial and monitor conflicts on the board. I don't mean that the minute a conflict arrives they should rush in and brush everything under the carpet or force everyone to 'make friends', but that when conflict arises or discussions become very intense a mediator would step in to help keep the conversation constructive. They could aim to help both sides to see the others' points of view, help to clarify points and arguments, and help to keep the discussion moving forwards to a more satisfactory ending than just everyone going off in a huff. At the very least they could prompt consideration of what can be learnt from these disagreements and how and where we can move on from here.

I know that you will probably say that this is a job for the moderaters but it is obvious that this is not really working as many of the moderators themselves are personally invested and involved in these discussions. This is not meant as a criticism of the mod team - in other areas you do a fantastic job and deserve recognition for that. But lets be honest - something has got to change. Or perhaps should change anyway.

Obviously it would be important to get the right people who have the skill to undertake such a difficult role. Perhaps people could put themselves forward or be nominated (with their permission) and the board could vote on who they trust to take on the position. From what I understand, mediation was an important role of the druids in early celtic society - surely amongst our modern-day ranks there are those who would be willing and able to participate.

Anyway, that's enough from me. You have my thoughts and it's up to you how to respond - I won't be offended if you hate the idea! If this doesn't take off I will drop the matter but I felt I needed to try if nothing else.  :D

So what do you think....any ideas?

Much love

flowerfairy x

[Merlyn]

Hi flowerfairy,
 It is a lot simpler than that, and is just plain being responsible.
What I would like to see is effort made by the thread poster to matron the thread.
 Yes, take responsibility for what is posted, watch, mediate and keep it on track. Only when others make this impossible, then please notify the forum moderator for help.
 We can help in many ways.
We can split a thread which grows into more than one subject.
This often happens and is a natural part of exploring a subject and often wanders off topic.
 This can help keep your thread all about the subject you wish to discuss and allow others and yourself to branch out into the many experiences and directions the original thought brought to mind.

 Take responsibility when the subject might be touchy and be aware what might have been sincere could be flame bait for others.

 Take responsibility to ensure misunderstanding does not go into argument.

 Take responsibility to be sure people who might get offended are fairly treated. This means closely watching the topic you post, and tagging it so that you are e-mailed when replies come in.

  Posting touchy subjects can be constructive, and bring insight. But we also need to be cyber savvy.

 Posting about sensitive personal issues on an open forum is not responsible.

  Posting offensive material is not responsible.

If members would like to review what is considered by the cyber world today as responsible, please see the links in the registration agreement.

After years of running this board, and its rapid growth, we searched far and wide, conversed with Admin from other pagan, religious, and general boards. We considered our own needs and set up open, private and even hidden forums provided by the phpBB group.

 As much as someone might think we invented all of this, we didn't
The Admin and Moderators of this board worked very hard to make this board as liberal as possible. Normal moderating rules on most other public boards are far stricter, and have little or no interaction at all between Admin and members. No warnings, no review, just *poof* and it is over.

I have even seen other boards have displays of all the members they ban, pictures of them and so on. Frankly we have extremely few by comparison.

 I attribute this to the very amazing community we have here. Almost everyone is very responsible and active. It is very rare that we have people bait threads.

 We also have a very active team running the board.
We have an increasing problem with spam, trolling and even ID theft attempts. We do actively delete a lot of it, and guard against it.

If members would like to help limit the amount of moderation needed on this board, then please research the links and net savvy tips we provide in the registration agreement.

 Please take responsibility to help and we will all be dancing the Jig!

We wish to seriously limit antagonism between posters.

We do have to insist that the rules and guidelines be fair and followed.

This OBOD board has a few special needs that other boards do not, and we constantly review and grow with these needs.

In light,
Merlyn

[flowerfairy]

Thank you Merlyn for your reply - I couldn't agree more. Taking responsibililty and acting responsibly is a duty of all of us, certainly not just the moderators who I know work hard to try and make this board the wonderful place it is. To reaffirm - I have no issue with the moderation of this board, far from it. But there does seem to be an inkling of a 'them' and 'us' mentality amoungst some members of the board which is what prompted my suggestion. It was certainly not meant as a criticism of the board over-all or of it's organisation.

As you said, perhaps I have over-complicated the issue. Maybe all we need is a bit of a reminder of our responsibilities here in which case your response is both valid and I feel necessary at this time.

Peace and blessings,

flowerfairy x

[Seeker]

Very well explained, Merlyn, and very well intentioned, flowerfairy! Bravo to both.

[pobble]

I second that.

[Merlyn]

Most welcome flowerfairy,
 The less I need to moderate, the more I can enjoy this board.
As time moves on, however, the forums grow, the membership grows and the job requires lots of team work and care.

 We could not do this without the help of so many good friends and such an amazing membership.

Thanks,
Merlyn  :hiya:

[Kernos]

Thanks for your suggestion, flowerfairy.

In general the Moderators and Admins are the front line of mediation. But their are rare times when Admins do not agree or a clear answer to a problem is not forthcoming. Often Time is the best healer.

But we do have a Druid council (members of the Druid forum) who may be asked by the Admins for advice.

The ultimate mediator is the OBOD office as this is The Official OBOD Board.

I see no reason to add another layer of hierarchy which would likely end up obfuscating the issues.

Kernos