Sorcha A. R. wrote:But that brings me to a question that has me wondering. Is it an insult to my parents if I change my name (especially since I plan to change my last name too)? I'm not changing it because I hate them or anything. I know they meant well, but I just don't like the idea of going my entire life wearing a name that doesn't suit me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any opinions on this?
Both my husband and I decided to change our names before we got married. I changed my middle and last names (I have always liked my first name - it means: to be sacred and attention-getting"). But my husband wanted to change his entire name.
My family had no problem with it, I think because I was keeping the first name and my last name had been changed as a child when my mother got married, there was no real connection there. Also as a woman in the western world there is still a pretty big likleyhood that my name would have changed when I got married anyhow.
My husband's family had/have major problems with it however. They could not understand why he wanted to do that and were especially hurt by the potential change of the last name. So much so that he only ended up changing his first two names. None of his family will even consider calling him by his new name, but this is understandable, it has only been a year and over time as more and more people come to know him by his new name only things may change.
I was, however, a little disappointed with the fact that he hadn't stood up for the new surname... he had brought up the concept to begin with and we had found a surname that said exactly what we had wanted it to say, many people already knew us by that name only and on top of that the name had basically been given to us by the faeries with a distinct 'do as you are told' overtone. Therefore, when we got married I kept the last name we had chosen as a second middle name (meaning that my name is insanely long), because I believe that once we had made a commitment to that particular spirit we could not just back down.
When we have children (eventually) they will also have that name as a second middle name.
I suppose what I am saying is that if you decide to make a commitment to change your name (which is a very powerful device after all) make sure that you are firm in that decision before actually committing.
That said, changing my name has made me feel much more like 'me' and I very rarely even think about either of us with the old names... like this is how it was meant to be.