For Our Baby Jasmine

[Destiny]

Recently myself and my husband had some devastating news, I was 5 months pregnant, we went for the scan that is done around this time, the local hospital picked up something wasn't right with our baby's heart, we were referred to St Thomas's hospital in London and were told our baby had congenital heart disease, Pulmonary Atresia with Ventricular Septal Defect, the specialist couldn't guarantee our baby (we named her Jasmine) would even make it full term, there was talk of operations IFJasmine was a "suitable candidate", long term prognosis wasn't good, it was really a miracle our Little One survived, she was literally living off me via the umbilical cord and could not survive outside my womb, not without severe medical intervention...with no guarantees whatsoever. We made the difficult and heart wrenching decision to let her go as peacefully and painlessly as possible.

It's been a hell of a time for us, Baby Jasmine was born on Saturday 28th, she had passed away during the birth sometime, as peacefully as possible, she was absolutely perfect...so beautiful it tore my heart... Of course we have gone through every emotion ever felt since then...

It's devastating to have to make a decision like we had to, of course I have felt "did I do the right thing?" , I've beaten myself emotionally to a pulp, but deep down I know that now she is free from pain and harm, it would've been selfish to subject her to operation after operation (if she'd made it)...she was critically ill and there was doubt she would even make it full term, when you are handed those kind of cards, there is really not much of a choice, she was created from our love and it was a decision made out of love. Many people say there is enough suffering in this world...and had Jasmine lived, she would have known pain of body, mind and spirit.

We're having her buried on Wednesday morning, just me, Mark (my husband) & Jasmine, it's so very personal and I don't think we could cope with a traditional funeral. An American Indian friend (real life one from the Lakota Tribe) has written some words for us to say and there are prayers being said for her by the tribe and other tribes that are friends of theirs.

I'm trying to keep strong, so that her tiny little life meant something, we will always remember her, she gave us much joy, pride and she brightened up our lives.

Be at Peace Little One, we love you Jasmine.

Karen Lovell

[Bracken]

Karen, my thoughts are with you as they will be on Wednesday.

[Leaflady]

Wishing you peace and consolation

[raveighen]

<hugs Karen> Oh hon, I'm so sorry for your horrible, horribly unfair loss.

[LadyCelt]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a friend who, several years ago, carried a baby to term even though she was told the child (also a girl) probably would not survive more than a few minutes. I can tell you that baby received more love in those few minutes than some receive in a lifetime. I know it was the same for your precious little one. Her little life did mean something - she awakened her mother's incredible strength. [[hug]]

[Corwen]

I am so sad for you.

C x

[D'Arzhur]

Dear Karen & Mark, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss... Thinking about you and baby Jasmine and sending you love and hugs...

[flame]

I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you both
em

[Crystal Dragon]

[Aylyn]

[Wolfdance]

There are no words except I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Dryadia2]

Thoughts and Prayers
Strength and Comfort
Peace and Blessings

[Corvin]

Please be good to yourself.

[Twig]

Oh, such pain.... I am so sorry, and please know I will be thinking of all of you.

[Shaun Hayes]

My heart goes out to you all

Shaun. xxx

[eagledance]

Having walked a very similar path myself 7years ago (Lily my daughter died in my wife's womb at 5 months gestation) I know to some extent wht you are going through. My thoughts are with you. Be kind to yourself and allow yourslef A LOT of time to process and heal. In my experience you never get over such a thing you just get through it, but the time will come when you are in control of your grief rather than the grief controlling you as it probably does right now. I learnt to create a place in my heart for Lily where I can go at will - where I can revisit my grief, my pain and loss but equally can then leave it there to conduct daily life.
Remember your darling Jasmine always - she is now on her way to the halls of your ancestors where she will watch and wait with your bloodlines. Look for her presence, expect to encounter her as she watches you.

PM me if you need a chat!

Ed

PS have you heard of SANDS - a charity that helped us so much and kept us sane!!

[Celtic Knight]

[Destiny]

Many Thanks to everyone, it has been a difficult time for us...somehow it seems so surreal, one moment we are expecting a baby, making preparations for the happy arrival, the next we are arranging a funeral.

There could be no other choice for us to make when we were given the news...even though it broke my heart, I had to set Jasmine free...

Now the slow road to recovery is ahead, but we will also never forget her, for she gave us so much.

Her funeral was Wednesday 11th and I said some words that were written by an American Indian friend of my husband's, the words are here for you all to share:~

"With every child we lose, we see deeper into the miracle of Life. As Jasmine lays within the Earth, which is Mother to all living beings, and to whom we all return, her spirit is with our relatives and ancestors who have come to guide her home. Her relatives will know she is coming and they will greet her with loving arms and will look after her. These relatives will not leave her side ever, but will be with her. And when the sunset of our lifes have also come, then we will join Jasmine and our other loved ones. Our spirits will fuse together in the Love that created them.

Jasmine's name is that of a white star flower. White is a color of purity. Her star, a guiding light that will bloom ever brighter and lovelier, just like the Jasmine flower that climbs higher so all can see the beauty of that star flower.

It was not for Jasmine's spirit to share the Earth as we know it, but to come as a star of Love in a way that we can all feel and learn by. Without pain the heart is hollow. Jasmine has taught us to fulfill our heart with Love and to teach us that Life is truely a miracle to be shared. We thank Jasmine for fulfilling our hearts in such a powerful way. We honor her and cherish her forever more". By John Wind.

[lotuswelcome]

What beautiful words!! Thank you very much for sharing.

Please take care of yourselves

To beautiful Jasmine

[D'Arzhur]

Thank you so much for sharing this...Baby Jasmine has already touched the heart of so many...
May you find peace,