Endless jokes at work about my long hair

[White Star]

All of my life I had a very short skinhead haircut. Then 18 months ago I started to grow it longer at my wife hinting I looked like a "thug" and why don't we grow my hair a bit... now it is getting on for shoulder length. Not wishing to sound vain here but it suits me long, my wife and daughter love it and actually it's not the problem I thought it would be to look after. It is trimmed and styled regularly so it's not as if its all over the place like some rampant bush..
The only problem is certain people at work even now can't seem to get over it.
The endless taunts of I might like to wear a skirt to work, middle aged men trying to regain a lost youth.. and being called by female names is now getting on my nerves. It is only certain people and when I confronted one who is actually a manager and quoted harrasment in the workplace it all stopped, but not for long.
I contacted the head office and they were brilliant and very concerned, giving me a number to ring if it gets over the top.
My supervisor is great and as far as he is concerned my hair is always clean and well groomed and he doesn't have a problem. Why should a male with a long hair cut be such a novelty? I don't understand, I'm the same bloke and I'm good at my job. I just don't understand this playground mentality. I expected some jokes and a bit of ribbing at first but it has gone from a bit of a laugh to annoying now.

White Star

[Nicholaas]

Children who never grew up? Secret envy of a long, healthy head of hair? Who knows.

Dial up that number if it gets too bad, otherwise just let it slide off your shoulders.

Are any of them bald? You could have some fun with that. j/k.

[Aylyn]

I had to endure endless German joks here in the UK, so I can relate to your plight. I took the jokes out by reciprocating in a similar manner about the British, and actually being better at it. From my experience, the jokes stop as soon as they are not inciting a reaction any more. Why is it getting on your nerves so badly? If some people laugh about your hair, think about what is funny about their looks, and comment on that, It usually works, even without involving higher echelons. Otherwise, just ignore them....

However, if you are up against full bullying, you should involve everybody you can think of.

[claireandaisy]

One of my sons had wonderful long hair - he used to have it trimmed only when he kept sitting on it. I was heartbroken when he had it cut a few years ago. They`re jealous, babe. Long hair on a man is sexy!

[Claer]

My partner has long hair. He's not had it cut since he was 12 when he saw Metallica at Wembley! In my opinion long hair improves many men...but that's a personal preference
Sorry to hear that you are having some issues at work over it. Like others have said - they are probably jealous. My partner has lost jobs in the past due to his hair (which is clean, well cared for and always tied back in a pony tail for work). We have lost count of the number of times complete strangers have rudely said "get a hair-cut" when walking past - or the stares
However, women often stop him to ask what hair products he uses, or to compliment him on his mane - I think that gets to some of the other guys. Glad to read you do have some support about this at work. Whatever, don't let the comments drive you to the scissors - only do that if it is what you want.
Claer
(Who thanks the Gods for long-haired men!)

[Corwen]

Welcome to the club mate, and seriously I mean that as there is a secret brotherhood of long haired men! Long hair and a beard is how our faces were designed to be framed. Beardless short haired men look odd, like a strange type of boy to me, after years of hanging out with the hairy. Hair is associated symbolically with wildness and masculinity, regulating our hair length is a way employers and wider society has of subconsciously taming us, neotonising us. Resist!

Unwanted comments are par for the course I'm afraid, long hair marks you out as a member of a different tribe, and it freaks out some of the worlds more insecure or ignorant men who seem to feel the need to make some sort of stupid comment. When I was at university and living in London it was a rare day I could walk the lenght of the Tottenham High Road without being called 'Jesus' at least once. In Tottenham it was often Asian men who used to do this so I would answer back 'Hi Mohammed, how are you doing?' which I thought was quite funny.

A couple of days ago we were doing gig at a Royal Marines base and one guy was reaching out to touch my hair (not in an aggressive way) as I walked past every few minutes whilst playing background music. I stopped and took his hat off and draped my hair over his shaven head which his friends found very amusing as they could see their friend transformed (its always best to respond back to hecklers and attention seekers etc at gigs and beat them at their own game). I honestly think that often it is simply curiosity or even slight envy which men aren't very good at expressing, it comes out in that typical male mickey taking found on building sites everywhere. When you get these guys on a one to one they want to have a conversation about it, but in front of their peers they can't be seen to be interested in something so 'other'.

There isn't a solution but responding with 'Ah, you are only jealous', or 'Why are you bothered, did you fancy me more with short hair?' are good reposts to use to take back the power.

On the subject of men in skirts, you might be interested to check out this website on Male Unbifurcated Garments
http://www.kiltmen.com/index.htm

[Arth Frown]

I have long hair 'cos if it was any shorter it would stick up all over the place. Just think afro but with straight hair.

I do get cars beebing at me when they are coming from behind, it's good to see the guys face when he see mine.

[Maena]

Usually it's more the novelty of otherness. You'll always get a few strange looks or comments from strangers, but most people get used to it when they know you.
The ongoing situation at work is something else. Sounds like a nest of pea brained bullies! And it should be handled accordingly. Don't let them provoke you into any emotional response. If you've tried beating them with humour to no avail: ignore. If they keep on laughing about their own jokes, call that number. It is bullying and discrimination. Don't let it get to you - they're the ones with a problem!



BTW Corwen, great link. Why should trousers for women be okay but skirts for men ridiculous?
Passing by a good looking guy in a kilt: wolf-whistle- Nice legs!
Now that's the spirit of egalitarianism

[skydove]

Both my husband 53 and son 18 have long hair and I think it suits them very well, I wish I could grow mine longer but it's too straggly now. They are both not scared to stand out visually from the herd but in other ways are quiet and unassuming. If you want long hair just keep it, I think there are many out there who wish they had the nerve to do what they themselves want rather than what others expect. Lets not be ground down by other peoples expectations, being yourself over this matter may just give other people quietly waiting in the wings the courage to express their own individuality in whatever way they need to and for those that don't it makes their life more interesting as they have someone to talk about Life is so much more interesting because of these people with courage, nerve and a sense of their own individuality, how dull if we all behaved and looked like the stereotyped culture adverts tell us we should aspire to.

[Duellist]

I have had long hair for nearly a decade and I must say that reactions have never been excessively negative. I have endured the odd chav 'comment', but they are like that anyway. For every negative, there is a positive, like the girl I knew who loved to brush (and plait, if I didn't stop her) my hair just for the love of touching it. Short-haired men will never know how it feels to have a woman brush their hair; there is nothing like it...

I have to echo the sentiment that long hair is manly. I feel more masculine with long and slightly unruly hair than I ever did with short hair, spending half an hour in front of a mirror with styling products just to make it look right. Beards are also manly, but optional.

I remember reading about how much opinion on male fashion has shifted. For instance, Romans considered trousers to be 'womanly' and were proud of their manly unbifurcated fashions. High heels were originally a male fashion (to be fair, for a fair chunk of history women wore skirts which covered up their feet anyway) and long hair has shifted from manly to womanly and back again throughout history.

You know what many women agree is most manly though? Confidence... If you can wear long hair and a kilt confidently, that is true manliness.

[Gwernen]

I've always had it long - now its long and dreaded. Resist!

Freeeeeedommmmm!

[Nicholaas]

Am I the only clean-shaven man with short hair? My hair would look downright silly were I to let it grow, and my beard, well...to call it a beard would be giving what happens on my face too much credit.

I rather like my trimmed appearance, and have had many compliments redarding it, thank you very much!

[Nicholaas]

Am I the only clean-shaven man with short hair? My hair would look downright silly were I to let it grow, and my beard, well...to call it a beard would be giving what happens on my face too much credit.

I rather like my trimmed appearance, and have had many compliments regarding it, thank you very much!

[White Star]

Thanks so much for all the replies folks. I really appreciate the support. I think the problems are perhaps mainly born of jealousy, I suppose at my age I can be counted lucky to have any hair.. I have no intention of having it cut, I like it and it does suit me long. Also my daughter loves styling it and she says after all her hard work she will kill me if I cut it now. My wife also says she loves it long. I have also inspired my brother in law to grow his after I got a lot of compliments at a family function where people said I look much younger.
Ncholaas I am not knocking short haired clean shaven men, I was one for most of my adult life.
Corwen cheers mate, loved the men in skirts site. actually I am entitled to wear the Aird tartan due to my wifes ancestry from that clan. I have never tried a kilt but you never know. Thanks once again for all the replies they were all great..

Terry

[Ade Sundog]

Hello from yet another longhair

Why not dye it green and really freak 'em out ? Only kidding

[Alchemilla]

It was the same with my father who had long hair all his life. He is 58 now. People were making jokes about him, especially because he had a long white beard as well. So his nickname among work mates was "Santa Clause" . He often thought about having his hair cut but refused because he liked it, so he stood up for it, although some of his colleagues kept telling him that he should not look like this at his age. I wonder, who are they to tell him how he has to look like. Anyway, his hair is short now, his beard is short, because he lost all his hair during chemotherapy. And it is them people who told him again and again to trim his hair and beard who say "You don't look like yourself anymore, you should grow your hair and beard long again". You see, long or short.. there are always people who complain. If you like your long hair, Terry, then keep it and be proud of it .

[Tryak]

My hair is blue and half shaved. I've lost a total of 2 jobs over it now. People making the biggest deals about the smallest things just hang in there.

[Badger Bob]

I was given the option of cutting my hair or quitting my job recently (I'm a subcontractor so I can be dismissed at the end of a contract without any reason). I need the money so I'm shorthaired again but the boss says my hair was tidier and looked better when it was long. I almost told him he would have more hair if he didn't stick his head up his backside so often...

[Rook]

Hair, any hair would be good here. Fell out in my mid twenties. Grown a beard as compensation.

[katsu]

This discussion seems to be growing on me (or that fuzzy thing in my neck must be a ponytail.... )
From age 12-22 I had my hair long up till the small of my back, had to cut it because it no longer suited me

However, since the beginning of this year I'm letting it grow again. Much to the delight of my betterhalf......
And yes, comments enough at work. I've actually had my seniormanager warn me that: "If someone complaines, we'll have a talk..........."
My reply: "We'll talk.....nothing will change.......but we'll talk"