Reyna wrote:My family all lives far away and his family....well, I don't want to be negative but they aren't the type I feel comfortable inviting over without him here, if that makes sense. And sadly since having her I've found out most of my friends aren't as close as I thought (ehh such is life).
Reyna wrote:I have checked her and even kept a written record and 99% of the time nothing is wrong-she's full, clean nappy, no bubbles and in a good mood...until I put her down (queue the scary music) and then the howls. Pick her up, instant happy baby.
Reyna wrote:What slings would you recommend for a small baby?
Reyna wrote:Naps? About 3 or 4...in my arms only. If I try to lay her down I might get 10 minutes before she gets wakes up. We co-sleep at night so basically the only time we aren't touching is when she is with her dad or when I lay her down and she cries.
Julysea wrote:Hang on in there, it's ALWAYS a phase, though it's hard to see that when you're in the thick of it!
Argenta wrote:Julysea wrote:Hang on in there, it's ALWAYS a phase, though it's hard to see that when you're in the thick of it!
Sure, but there is always another phase lurking behind the current phase, waiting to jump at you just when you think you've got the hang of it
(Not a very helpful reply, but that's my experience.)
Edit: Though, admittedly, some phases are harder than others, and the kangaroo phase (carry-me-along-wherever-you-go) is definitely one of the most physically demanding. Or, at least a close second to "It's All So Interesting I Won't Waste Any Time On Sleeping".
Greenleaf wrote:I didn't do attachment parenting with my son and he is the most bright, confident and loving child. As a baby I fed him on demand, he set the routine and was consistent. He slept in my bed since it was easier than getting up often in the night. When he is ill he still gets to sleep in my bed, it makes him feel safe, but he also sleeps in his cot.
I think it doesn't matter how you raise your child, it's that you have a child who is loved, happy, confident, learned respect and grows up to be a fine adult
Phyto wrote:Attachment parent here - I have studied developmental psychology and it's a very normal way to raise a child and good both psychologically and cognitively for secure, normal development. We are mammals - children need nurturing, close contact and to be understood - babies cry when they are unhappy, hungry, tired, overstimulated etc and really do require close contact, holding, carrying in a sling, breastfeeding (breastmilk is normal - formula is pharmaceutical chemicals - we're just too lazy or uninformed to make the effort sadly and there are very few medical reasons not to breastfeed) with at least one primary caregiver.
I know lots of children raised in this way - they are confident as they get older, secure, and healthy. The idea that somehow you can spoil an infant is outdated and goes against cognitive studies on healthy, normal infant development. Baby experts who believe in letting infants cry it out and so on need re-educating (and banning from publication imho as it is psychologically harmful). To my mind attachment parenting is just normal parenting working within the understanding of what you need to do as a mammal and human to raise a healthy infant through childhood and adulthood. It is at odds with many of us who have been raised in a more Dominant modality of parenting (whereby the infant is seen as something that needs to learn to rules of suppression, punishment/reward). Many people parent by just believing they are doing their best, often modelled on what went before, but it would be so much better if we remained constant learners and open to ways that work with a deep understanding of human behaviour - a baby crying is communicating its need to be held, loved, nurtured, fed, changed and so on. It's not turning into a monster by being listened to.
There is The Mother magazine for parents and also Jean Liedloff's The Continuum Concept is a good book to start with.
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