Secrets of the Elemental Children

[emmao1111]

Any and all comments most welcome


Secrets of the Elemental Children

Midst amniotic seas
bordered sounds are muffled,
clear and strange as whale song from the deep,
gripped by undulating tide.
Oceanic pressures forge distinction between
beings knowingly familiar,
hidden by bliss from time itself.

Seconds pass.
Ancient wisdom calls.
Instinct awakens tiny limbs
and climbing creepers cling and struggle
to light where,
suckling sap from ripened breast,
gnarled bark meets leaf-soft skin.

Driven by unconditional love,
born from molten depths,
intense, smouldering, endless,
I am Creator, guardian, protector, teacher,
ablaze with unspeakable joy.

Ferociously tender.
Delicately destructible.
Trembling.
Thunderous.
Exhilarated.
And made
to be broken.
Time’s quarry.

Beginnings disguise time as creature kind, but time
prowls,
hiding in classrooms, under beds, beneath skin,
relentless in the hunt.
Cold counting.

When I am carried westward
remember me.

Giver of life.
Destroyer of worlds.
Keeper of all that was.

[emmao1111]

I suppose I should have put a bit of explanation against this one really. I almost died after giving birth to both of my children - the first time with blood clots on both lungs and the second time with a massive infection and sepsis.

I don't see it as a negative at all, infact it has really made me appreciate my life and my children. I came face to face with my own mortality twice and if that doesn't make you appreciate every moment then I don't know what does!

I hope this will help you make a little more sense of my poem.

xxx

[treegod]

I found the poem, without the explanation, really descriptive, almost lucid. Now I know why. Thanks for sharing.

[emmao1111]

Thank you Treegod

[Zylah]

Love, love love, LOVE this. I can't articulate it yet, except that your use of metaphor is smooth and masterful, the way you use compare-and-contrast is brilliant, and every word bursts with sensory input; will try to properly review when I have a quiet moment.

[emmao1111]

Now you've gone and made me blush! I would appreciate any constructive criticism concerning my poetry. Thank you for taking the time to leave your lovely message.

[wyeuro]

at the risk of deepening your blush, wow. authenticity is powerful, raw stuff, and such a well-wrought, practically flawless poem! like zylah, it goes beyond any words i've got. it's sublime.
wyverne /|\

[emmao1111]

[Jingle]

This is really awesome. Without the explanation, it gave me chills as your descriptions and words are very powerful.
With the explanation, brings a personal side to it that makes the words even more poignant.

[emmao1111]

I'm not sure I can stand all this praise! I have hardly ever shown anyone anything before so it is good to know that it pleases people. Thank you everyone.

[treegod]

If you can't stand the praise, please sit down lol.

I think I'll keep an eye out for your poetry.

[emmao1111]

Jolly good! I've posted a couple more today. Comments always welcome. x