The Nature of Fear

[emmao1111]

As always, comment / suggestions welcome.

The Nature of Fear

I am the shadow,
the creature in your closet,
the sound beneath your bed.
My face hidden.

Fear is imagining.
In knowledge is power, and
power is mine,
not yours.

I know your fear.
I feed on the deliciousness of it.
The moment crystalised;
An unknown terror lurks.

I smile serenely.
Blood screams in your ears.
Yes I am the shadow.
Ferocious, with no teeth.

[Nightfalls]

i have always enjoyed the darker side of poetry (i love omnia's version of The Raven)

It is good overall, but the last line did not click for me.

[emmao1111]

Thank you for your honesty. I am really glad you left your comment. Thisn is far from my best and was something I wrote some time ago and plucked out of an old journal yesterday. The last line was probably the one that did click for me though. Fear in itself can't hurt you - hence no teeth. I think the whole concept is something i'll visit another time in a much less rigid format.

[Nightfalls]

unless your fear is sharks, then you are in a world of toothy trouble

[emmao1111]

LOL! Very good! But there's the distinction - the shark has the teeth - the feeling of fear does not.

I guess the fear I was writing about is the monster in the child's closet. Monsters live in the dark. Turn the light on and they just aren't so scary any more. Infact, on thinking about it, perhaps the poem itself was right but the title was wrong? Maybe it should be called "The closet monster"?!?!?

This is exactly why I value such honest feedback.x

[treegod]

I think you might be right about the title. The poem doesn't reflect for me the "nature of fear" but more like how imagination can create false fears. Which is a good point to make.

I do like fear. It's way of keeping me alive, sane and healthy. As long as it doesn't succumb to fantasy and paranoia

[emmao1111]

I agree completely. Thing through it further I have a friend who works as a volunteer with older children and early teens with issues. Perhaps with a new name, this could become a platform for talking about these feelings?

[treegod]

Yes, it could be.

Was this on purpose Nightfalls; "It is good overall, but the last line did not click for me."

In response to "Ferocious, with no teeth."

[emmao1111]

Brilliant!!!

[Jingle]

I agree with the title being a little misleading, but don't agree with the "ferocious with no teeth" comments since the line before it talks about the shadow.

Yes I am the shadow.
Ferocious, with no teeth.

A title like "Shadow Fear" or the alternate title about monsters in the closet.

Isn't it funny how shadows, whether in the closet, or in a black and white horror film, can be the scariest things of all? But when you look at the shadow itself, it really doesn't have any teeth. On the other hand, the serial killer that's casting the shadow may be something to fear indeed. In which case, I say RUN!

[emmao1111]

Hahahaha!! Lovely! I think I am coming to the conclusion that this one should be scrapped and rewritten when I work out what it was I was trying to say all those months ago!

[treegod]

Scrapped and rewritten? I'd never dream of that!

Personally I've always left a poem as I've written it, whether I've liked it or not. I've never had any such think as a draft poem or work in progress. I write it and it is finished.* And, if it's an important subject, it'll reappear, and you're writing style and perspective will change over time.

It'll sort of "rewrite" itself in the end

*that doesn't mean I don't look at old poems and think of tweeking, but I tend to resist because they represent important stepping stones in my spiritual development the way they were written.

[Jingle]

Most poets (and some artists) are not completely satisfied with some poems. Scrapping is not the best thing. Tweaking is good if it truly makes a poem better or if you're working with a strict meter and you find a non-conformance that can be fixed.

I agree with treegod that a free verse poem should probably not be tweaked too much.

On the other hand, it would be acceptable to write a second separate poem on the same subject that reflects how you feel on two separate occasions about the same subject. Then make a note of the dates on both so you can look back and see how your perspective has changed.

[emmao1111]

Wise words. I suppose that's sort of how my old binder is. It has allsorts tucked within it's folds and although I have never written dates on poems (perhaps I should have?) I can instantly recall in which period of my life I wrote them. I don't go back often but when I do it is like reading the work of another person - because it WAS another person when you look at it through that perspective. Sort of makes sense of something I had never really bothered to think about before? Thank you.

[wyeuro]

i think it's brilliant: and the last line clicks for me. it builds logically, great atmosphere and tension, and then a delicious anti-climax discharging the whole thing, very effective and nifty. strange, isn't it, how we all react so differently to poems.
wyverne /|\

[emmao1111]

Thank you. I think I like the poem too - it was the title that didn't sit well. Suggestions on a postcard