Stress/Depression/Anger

[MistyNightWind]

A very unhappy topic I know, but these are the main feelings I've been feeling recently. I'm trying so hard to feel happy- like telling myself why I should feel happy, turning my negative thoughts into good ones, affirmations etc and meditation was working well as well. But these past few days I just can't seem to get there. I feel wretched.
It's like there is anger or something in me which is stopping any happiness from coming through.

Any suggestions?

Blessings
Misty

[seabhac star]

Hello Misty I left you a private message!

[Julysea]

Trying to tell yourself that you 'should' feel differently than you do is pointless and can actually make the original problem worse as it's a form of denial/repression. If you can meditate on the cause of your anger, and trace it back - what triggered the anger and depression this time, currently? Does this trigger have roots which go further back? When have you felt the anger and depression at other times in your life? What triggered it then?

Finding the roots and dealing with that - honouring the feeling, working through any anger, guilt or other reactions to the original problem - until you find acceptance. Then you can move on.

[Saille-Panthera]

Hi Misty,
I know that feeling of your happiness being blocked by emotions you just cannot overcome. For me Bach Flower Remedies work wonders, maybe you can find yourself a practitioner nearby. Or if you want I can give you advice (I'm on the brink of becoming an official Practitioner), if so, just pm me!
Hugs and Blessings from under the willow,
Ellen

[emmao1111]

Firstly HUGE virtual hug for you.

Secondly - we are constantly taught to fight these feelings, believeing we should be feeling tip top and able to cope all the time. The fact is almost no-one feels great every waking second. Give yourself permission to feel the way you do for a while - obviously not if you're suicidal - but sometimes sitting with a feeling helps you to understand where it comes from, what triggers it, and what helps it subside.

Thirdly a good cry can help - as can a bit of a tantrum, but I warn against picking up all your paperwork and lobbing it around the room. I have learned from bitter experience it takes too long to reorder!

Finally - sharing it can really help, either with a friend nearby, or with the many friends you have on this forum. Without wishing to sound patronising (or arrogant!) you are here, so we already know what an amazing person you are - just remember being amazing doesn't mean being superhuman!

Lots of love
Emma.xxx

[MistyNightWind]

Thank you for the responses.

I have finally figured what I think triggered my feeling this way. And July yes you're right I guess there is no point in telling myself I 'should' feel differently cos at the end of the day I don't, but I think I've got to the root(s)...it's just what to do with them?

Saille- I may get back to you on those bach remidies, I'll see how I am these next few days.

Emma- thanks for the virtual hug fortunatly at the moment I dont have too much paper work lying around although I had a good shout at the computer earlier when the internet decided not to work, which I think helped...as did talking with my mother.

just remember being amazing doesn't mean being superhuman!

hehe I like this!

Thank again,
Misty

[Saille-Panthera]

Saille- I may get back to you on those bach remidies, I'll see how I am these next few days.

Feel free to do so

[Julysea]

Thank you for the responses.

I have finally figured what I think triggered my feeling this way. And July yes you're right I guess there is no point in telling myself I 'should' feel differently cos at the end of the day I don't, but I think I've got to the root(s)...it's just what to do with them?


Misty

It depends how difficult you're finding it to grapple with the root cause. It could be something you need to see a counsellor about, or you could maybe find a friend you trust to discuss it with? The idea is to debrief until you feel more comfortable with the issue. So, you could try thinking about it and how it affected you. Then try thinking if there are any other ways of looking at it; how would an outsider have seen it it, how would anyone else involved have seen it? Break it down until you find the most difficult bit, then maybe try to express how it makes you feel in different ways - writing, art, in meditation, with movement. Get it to flow through you and really allow yourself to feel the emotions, and then release.

As I said, depending on the issue, how strongly it's affected you, and your support network, it could be good to see a counsellor or a life coach to help you work through it. Definitely enlist family and friends to support you.

HTH!

[Nicholaas]

The only advice I can offer is to never give up, to never give in to the depression. You are stronger than that; we are all stronger than that; the trick is believing so.

I think most of us here are have been though a rather rough patch at some point in our life, and there's never any easy way through it (at least none that I've discovered). Sometimes, you just need to muscle through it, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and taking life a day at a time. Find someone to talk to if you feel the need. See a professional if it feels like it's getting out of control. Get out and exercise; do something that affirms and reminds you that you are alive and the world is beautiful.

[emmao1111]

Get out and exercise; do something that affirms and reminds you that you are alive and the world is beautiful.

Now that is good advice! Depression is the curse of the strong, not the weak. Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself. x

[Nightfalls]

i randomly get depressed or feel like something inside is keeping me from being happy. My friends call it my man period lol. eventually it goes away tho.

[Saille-Panthera]

i randomly get depressed or feel like something inside is keeping me from being happy. My friends call it my man period lol. eventually it goes away tho.

if you cannot think of a reason why that is, you might try the bach flower remedy Mustard.. that's the one for sudden depressions out of the blue with no known cause (sometimes described as a black cloud blocking the sun, which goes a way as sudden as it came...)

[Nightfalls]

I dunno, it is like i somehow feel things more on some days. Like it is amplified.

[Saille-Panthera]

I dunno, it is like i somehow feel things more on some days. Like it is amplified.

Like you're more susceptible for influences from your surroundings? Because then I'd say Walnut...

[Nightfalls]

maybe surroundings, more of what People say to me. We at work give each other a lot of crap. Most days i shrug it off because i know we are all just joking and having a good time. Sometimes it seems to pile on.

[Saille-Panthera]

I know the feeling...
Maybe a combination of Mustard and Walnut will help you somewhat (that is, if you are interested in using bach flower remedies, if not, just let me babble on about them and ignore me )

[MistyNightWind]

It's good to come back to so many comments on here.

Julysea-

The idea is to debrief until you feel more comfortable with the issue. So, you could try thinking about it and how it affected you. Then try thinking if there are any other ways of looking at it; how would an outsider have seen it it, how would anyone else involved have seen it? Break it down until you find the most difficult bit, then maybe try to express how it makes you feel in different ways - writing, art, in meditation, with movement. Get it to flow through you and really allow yourself to feel the emotions, and then release.

That is really useful and helpful. Talking with my mother helped me to see it in a different light- basically rejection from three different people for two different reasons. I don't feel this warrants professional help- I've been there before, years in fact and I did go and dig up some of my old notes! So maybe a poem will seal the deal and then I can truely move on, had a few lines swimming around in my head last night.

Nicholaas-

do something that affirms and reminds you that you are alive and the world is beautiful.

I agree with emma this is brilliant advice

Nightfalls-
I can very much sympathise even when I cant find a reason I still get bouts like that, and the same with the work situation but fortunatly that was in a past job although friends can be like that too. I think the trick is despite how you feel you've just got to keep telling yourself its all banter and take it with a barrell of salt.

Saille-
I like your "babbling" about bach flower remidies The mustard one sounds like it could be helpful.

Love and Laughter
Misty

[plaidcat]

Misty,

I've struggled with varying degrees of depression and anxiety/stress for about 10 years, including a chronic battle with self-injury. I've been to 3 counselors, over time, the longest for about 6 months.

When I'm feeling badly, I do have to fight with myself to get through a day and pretend to be happy at work, and with my family. It can be difficult. I have not self-injured in several months, but like I said, it is a constant battle to resist such a long depended-upon coping mechanism, and at times I only succeed by telling myself that I would be hurting my husband by hurting myself; I don't even have the strength to resist for my own sake. I don't mean to dwell on this, I only want to illustrate my empathy.

To bring myself out of a really bad funk, I rely on my routine to a degree; keep myself eating healthy (no fast food, that just makes me feel worse physically and emotionally), keep active and exercising (being stagnant reduces my self-esteem and contributes to physical discomfort for me), and to rely on my family for support (asking my husband for a massage, going for a drink with my friends even if I don't want to go). And, of course, meditation, ritual practice, and continuation of my Bardic gwersi help me also. I cannot expect to only experience my spirituality with a happy mind; like my family, it is there to support me through good times and bad.
Journaling helps me somewhat, but I've always been horrible about keeping a journal no matter the topic. If I can remember that it will pass eventually, that I will be ok at a later point, then I can usually get through the period it lasts. This sounds a little defeatist, as though I am resigned to the fact that I am going to feel depressed and there is nothing that I can do about it, but I find being realistic with myself to help. If I entertain dreams of grandeur, imagine that I will one day be entirely free, I will crash harder the next time I wind up feeling bad. Instead, I treat it as anyone with a disease or disorder treats their condition; as a day-to-day part of my life that I have to cope with and treat through pro-active means, to prevent "flare ups," and to acknowledge and responsibly deal with them when they occur, whether that is by home-remedy, therapy, or medication (I have yet to be prescribed medication, happily. I self-manage reasonably well, it seems, and seek out therapists who are loath to dole out pills).

I didn't intend to impart a big sunny rosy picture of "LOLZ YAY YOU CAN DO IT JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF :D:D" because quite frankly, when you're in the middle of it, that sort of stuff is discouraging. To me, at least, because its one more ideal I can't live up to.

That being said, if I am strong enough, then you must be too. You are strong enough to learn how to bring yourself up out of a funk, and when you are not strong enough for that, then you are strong enough to learn how to cope with it and come out a little battered, but intact, on the other side.
If my note has a depressed tone to it, its because I'm going through a rough couple of days at the moment. But I did everything I suggested to you; I did yoga this morning with my husband, I had vegetables and hummus, and homemade tacos with fresh veggies to eat today (admittedly, i'm eating lighter than i should today), I admitted to my hubby and roommate that I'm feeling down, and tonight I'm following through with going out with some workmates to play pool. Despite how I feel right now, I know I will feel better soon, and I just have to tough it out. I'm proud of how I'm handling myself with this bout, to be honest, and that lifts me up even faster!

PM me if you ever need support. I won't lie to you; it is tough. It is tough, but you can do it.

[MistyNightWind]

Thanks for you reply Plaidcat, it certainly was informative. It's great to know that you take your own advice I really dislike hyprocrites. How are you feeling now? Better I hope. Somethings that really shone out at me in your post were:

I cannot expect to only experience my spirituality with a happy mind

I never thought of this before. I've always felt for some reason ever since taking up or trying to take up a more spiritual path that I should feel happy. Obviously if something crap happens I'll feel down, but generally to feel good. Maybe this isn't the case, afterall we are only human...

If I entertain dreams of grandeur, imagine that I will one day be entirely free, I will crash harder the next time

Yes this is so true!

seek out therapists who are loath to dole out pills

Lol, I found it was the doctors who refer you to the therapists were the ones way too happy to give out pills, it was like well I'll only refer you if you take these.

Thanks again

[mantis]

My wife battles with clinical depression,but never give up or feel you're alone.As from this thread you are not.
As already said exercise and fresh air are two of the best.Exercise sets of chemicals in you that are good for you.Also as you are with us talk to people,some won't understand but you'll be surprised how many do.Blessed be