Short poem about slugs!

[emmao1111]

Inspired by last night's ravaging of my salad plants!

Feel free to comment / critique and suggestions for a title are welcome

Black-clad burglar
glistens in mischief, moonlit
with vertical intent.

Eye-stalking tender leaves
he scales the cold-frame;
orange frills quiver.

Carnage ensues.

By morning
Slime-sucked glass and
silver trails, the
gardener’s only clue, and

the villain
grins a leaf-stuffed grin,
almost as fat
as his belly.

[Jingle]

emmao1111

Excellent. I have a poetry problem lately. It's hard to find subjects to write about. But you are inspired by the world around you, and I think that's the best part about your writing. Well done.

[emmao1111]

I think most of us hit a dry spell from time to time, but if you ever want a buddy to bounce ideas round with you know where to find me i'd consider it an honour. x

[treegod]

[emmao1111]

[Fox of the Oaks]

I enjoy the central line

Carnage ensues.

alone as a stanza, yet right in the middle. It has the good effect of being a strong image for the whole poem.
The feeling I receive from this poem is about the slug as a kind of innocent thing with slow simple movements, yet in doing such causes a most horrid result (for the gardner). Just like a slug indeed!

[wyeuro]

well, i dunno, i always kinda liked slugs. okay, they eat lettuces, but they have kind faces. and not having shells like other molluscs, they seem somehow vulnerable. hasn't anyone got a word of love for a slug?
wyverne /|\

[Fox of the Oaks]

Yeah I love slugs,
Though they're bugs,
I think that they are worth,
The same as a human birth.

[emmao1111]

Hahahahaha!!! Very good

Just to clarify, I am not so much anti-slug as pro lettuce - especially when it was going to be my tea! That said slugs need to eat too so with that in mind I have left some lettuce outside but bought the best of what was left inside. Now neither of us have to go without num nums

[Corwen]

Nice poem

You might enjoy Considering the Snail by Thom Gunn, quoted on this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=84&t=34420

[emmao1111]

Not only was that a great and interesting poem, it has also promted me to spend the last hour researching snail sex. I can't wait to thrill and amaze people with my now extensive knowledge of the subject!

[Fox of the Oaks]

Have you seen the film 'Microcosmos' - I watched part of it last night - there is a snail sex scene near the beginning - it's so... sensuous.

[Corwen]

I've been lucky enough to see snails mating a few times, though I've only seen the love dart once.



What a beautiful couple.

[wyeuro]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[emmao1111]

love Love LOVE that photo!

[Nikki 2]

"Sensuous"? . . . ."Snail sex"? . . . . . I shudder at the thought!!! Lol.

356bc_love-is-blind-funny-commerc.jpg

Sorry to bring the tone of the conversation down guys.

[emmao1111]

Don't apologise! I'm glad you did. I actually spat coffee when I saw that picture! Hilarious

[Nikki 2]

Hi emmao,
I really loved your poem by the way.

[seabhac star]

Great poem... Haunting and whimsical. It made me smile...
Thank you for your poem.
Seabhac

[emmao1111]

Great poem... Haunting and whimsical. It made me smile...

I'm really glad. It was meant to! All a bit tongue in cheek really - I actually have quite a soft spot for the little fellas. The loveable rougue of the garden. Well, of my garden anyway. Slug pellets? Wouldn't hear of it!

As you can see by this picture my little girl is actually more into snails! She called this one "Burt"