What are you afraid of?

[Guardian]

People seem to be very concerned with dying alone. There is a saying I've always known to be somewhat comforting, in an odd way : every single thing that lives will someday die and die alone.

I will have to side with Eowyn from LotR, and say that I fear a cage. Metaphorically of course. Being trapped, in (unhealthy) relationships, career, lifestyle, location, frame of mind... I chose the wolf as my totem animal because I have an undying need to roam. I fear anything that would make that impossible.

Needless to say, I'm not terribly good at decision making. People tend to think I'm inconsistent because I change my mind or my plans frequently. I'm willing to suffer being thought of as indecisive if it keeps me from feeling TRAPPED.

Also, I second Pollen: Zombies.

[Sencha]

I'm afraid of stupid people. Not for myself, but for my children.

[Aitrus]

I have two major fears: of being struck blind, and of being buried alive.

[Nobby]

Losing my husband and son.

[Sencha]

Republicans

[Coreylee]

Greatest fear is probably coming back as something in the next life that a loath in this, like an evangelical, batshit crazy conservative Christian. That and the Easter Bunny, honestly there's just something about him that too horribly creepy. Religious persecution wouldn't be to great either.

[Maena]

Can I have another shot?

Just had an interesting thought..
A big fear that recently came to my mind.. hurting my new found companion.
An odd thing because that would probably cause me to do just that. By trying to not get too close, not being too loveable. Keep it cool

But I have noticed that in others too. And I remember what I thought and said: you are a lovely loveable person. You have learnt to be harsh because you were put in a position where you had to be that way. If someone really is good to you, you won't have to be harsh. Open up, overcoming rational fears and following some good old intuition

Hmm sounds like I've been following my own advice for once

[Aylyn]

Good to hear that you are opening up Maena, but your post reminds me that there is two sides to the coin: Opening up also makes you vulnerable to being hurt by the people you love. One of the fears that I still carry around with me, not the greatest, but one that determines my life: Getting close to somebody, because I might get hurt again, and it felt so bad the last time it happened....

[Maena]

Indeed Aylyn, those were the rational fears I was referring to. But what I've experienced, listening to my intuition was: I don't feel any threat at all
And I am usually sceptical and cynical about anything relating to romance. Umm one of my fav songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7YHZBOXNM
So to say the least I was surprised about this sensation.

I think that if you listen carefully and honestly to your intuition you do know when you can be open to someone.

[FoxPhantom]

One thing I fear the most, is being imprisoned. ( Mentally, physically, and spiritually).
Since I would rather be free then to be chained to something.

[lavouivre]

I am scared of time passing... This goes to a silly point: when my vacation time begins, I know it is going to be short because good time goes away quickly, so on day 1, I am already sad!! (mental, I know) . Or right now: it is still summer, but I already feel a hint of Fall (somes leaves yellowing and some falling, not so warm early in the morning). Don't get me wrong, I like fall and the seasons. But it seems time flows trough my hands like water. This disturbs me most when i think about people I love: afraid that time passing means loosing beloved family members, especially my parents. it gives me a sense of urgency but I don't know to do what: see them more often?
It probably has to do also with the fact that I don't like my job and feel time is wasted without much being accomplished. My weeks are passing by and I am at the same spot, trapped.

To get rid of the feeling, i usually have to meditate, get a better view at the bigger picture, telling myself that everyone I love is fine, and forcing myself to live with the present, not the future. I am also looking for another job. Applying everywhere.
Next!

[Ghostrider]

I'm afraid of 'losing' my kids...
The timne has come that my ex is moving to another part of the country, which means Icannot take them to school anymore. Or have them come over for lunch when I have an evening-shift...
I'll only be able to see them in the weekends... And since I work 3 out of 5 weekends... that's cutting short my visiting rights...enormously..

[lavouivre]

Ghostrider, that must be one of the toughest things in the world. Besides, our fears are mostly abtract or far away in the future, whereas yours is lived in the present.
I am sorry you have to go through this! Isn't there a law that states that your ex should move somewhere not too unreachable for you (like a distance limit or something)? Because what of your own rights if she moves to the other side of the planet???

Did you find a way to get over the fear of the situation? perhaps call your children more, or install skype on your computer and theirs? Change job so that you have real week ends and perhaps the same vacation times (like teaching)?

Good luck and courage! To your children too...

[Ghostrider]

Trying to change jobs is what I'm doing.
She's moving about 30 miles away, so as far as laws go, she's entitled to do so. It's just that working shifts now means that instead of seeing the kids 3 days a week, I'll probably see them 4 days a month.... Quite a change...

We'll see how it goes...

[lavouivre]

I agree, quite a change...I am afraid there is no easy way in your case. But you will never "loose" your children. They will always be part of you and you part of them. I just hope you kept in friendly terms with your ex, to some extent, so that at least, the children will not hear anything mean from either of you about the other. Anger and resentment destroy more than being parted physically. My husband lived this with his ex and she has not been too kind, and it still hurts him...
I wish you the very, very best!

[Nightfalls]

Trying to change jobs is what I'm doing.
She's moving about 30 miles away, so as far as laws go, she's entitled to do so. It's just that working shifts now means that instead of seeing the kids 3 days a week, I'll probably see them 4 days a month.... Quite a change...

We'll see how it goes...

keep that head held high ghosty you will make it through the rough times

I am afraid of ghosts...kinda. My sword cannot cleave fleshless spirits I also have a deep hate for insects, mainly ants and roaches.

[Argenta]

If I started thinking about it, I would come up with so many fears, and perhaps more concrete ones... but right now, I am only hugely afraid that my life is over, that I will have to go on living in this way that makes me a little sadder, quieter and depressive each day, until I lose all joy, all defiance and all hope, and become too old too soon.
And I'm afraid it's all my fault.

[Nightfalls]

Your age says you are 30, your life is FAR from over. You are still so young and beautiful! Get out there and enjoy life to its fullest! If you are depressed and succumb to grief, then yes it will be but if you throw your cares to the wind and love life and relax then you will be

It was never your fault.

[treegod]

If I started thinking about it, I would come up with so many fears, and perhaps more concrete ones... but right now, I am only hugely afraid that my life is over, that I will have to go on living in this way that makes me a little sadder, quieter and depressive each day, until I lose all joy, all defiance and all hope, and become too old too soon.
And I'm afraid it's all my fault.

I hope my perspective helps, otherwise you can always discard it

This part of the adventure of life, it has been for me. Think of it as a test for self-evolution (if appropriate for your situation), that if you overcome this you have gone through a huge barrier in your life, something that will keep you in good stead in the future. You describe similar feelings to what I've had in the past and this is what I've found out, so I'm reflecting on my own experience, which may not be the same as yours.

Saying "And I'm afraid it's all my fault" reinforces this. You disempower yourself. Think more of responsibility rather than fault or guilt. For me it has more empowering connotations, it is something I can stand for and live for.

Life is only over if you chose it to be over. So why not choose different?

[Argenta]

Aw, guys, thanks for the nice words and excuse me if I now go a bit OT, but...

Your age says you are 30, your life is FAR from over. You are still so young and beautiful!

... that's just the problem: I know at thirty I should be young, beautiful, and with a whole lot of things ahead. However, I am stuck in a sort of a middle-aged lifestyle: overweight, married (not too happily), with little kids who depend on me, a huge bank loan, a job I dislike but can't change because of the loan and the kids, so broke I occasionally barely survive, or find the time and means to do anything beside work and kids. I feel crushed by all the burden, and I'm really, really afraid that by the time the kids grow up, I pay back the debt, and (hopefully) get to my financial two feet, I'll be either too old or too tired to do anything with my life.

Saying "And I'm afraid it's all my fault" reinforces this. You disempower yourself. Think more of responsibility rather than fault or guilt. For me it has more empowering connotations, it is something I can stand for and live for.

Life is only over if you chose it to be over. So why not choose different?

I actually do understand what you mean, because I've already managed to do something similar in the past (got out of a cult single-handedly and schooled myself to get a proper job), but this time I do not see any choices that can make things work out for better. My choices are also very limited by the objective circumstances (country and family), and my fear is reinforced almost every day by seeing this happen to other women around me all the time, for very same reasons, and it scares the s**t out of me.

Anyway, sorry about usurping the topic, but it's one fear that has been weighing down on me for some time now, and I thought I'd be brave and share.