Religion, Relationships, and Priorities

[Ainevar]

I'm not sure where the best place to put this is but here it goes. I have been in a relationship for a couple days and my girlfriend and I have known eachother for a two years. Thing is I feel whatever image she had of me the two yrs we've known each other has been destroyed and she has been hurt. While talking the last couple days we have talked bout future plans, views on children, sex, and religion and other things. Well the problems have come from talking bout kids and bout religion. I personally don't want kids and she does. She is understandably upset with that. Then the whole thing bout religion came up. It is bad enough that I have to lie to her parents about my religion. I will tell them I am catholic if I ever am asked. She wants me to go with her to church which I would be okish with but for a couple problems. I live atleast 40 miles from where she goes to church. I have heard odd things about the pentecostal church and fear I would be extremly uncomfortable. She is mad at me because I don't want to go to church with her. I worry that the differences her and I have will likely bring the relationship to an end.

[FoxPhantom]

I'm not sure where the best place to put this is but here it goes. I have been in a relationship for a couple days and my girlfriend and I have known eachother for a two years. Thing is I feel whatever image she had of me the two yrs we've known each other has been destroyed and she has been hurt. While talking the last couple days we have talked bout future plans, views on children, sex, and religion and other things. Well the problems have come from talking bout kids and bout religion. I personally don't want kids and she does. She is understandably upset with that. Then the whole thing bout religion came up. It is bad enough that I have to lie to her parents about my religion. I will tell them I am catholic if I ever am asked. She wants me to go with her to church which I would be okish with but for a couple problems. I live atleast 40 miles from where she goes to church. I have heard odd things about the pentecostal church and fear I would be extremly uncomfortable. She is mad at me because I don't want to go to church with her. I worry that the differences her and I have will likely bring the relationship to an end.

It's possible that it will end. I remember about a book, called the four agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. In the 4th chapter, All I remember about the chapter is trying to be yourself and not force your partner to change who she is. I think the book will hold some more info then what I just said.

I don't know how I can help any further, just thought to give you a little bit of something helpful.

[wolf560]

I hesitated for the longest time answering this post....

Some say that people should be alike
Others say variety is the spice of life
I say that you two had something in common to begin with

Sit down and talk things out, it after all cannot hurt much can it?

You had to see something in her and her in you.
Differences are a paltry thing to end a relationship over.

Any differences can be settled and if they cannot then you have already said that it was an issue to begin with I guess....

Talk it out and keep an open mind

[Frog]

I'm not sure where the best place to put this is but here it goes. I have been in a relationship for a couple days and my girlfriend and I have known eachother for a two years. Thing is I feel whatever image she had of me the two yrs we've known each other has been destroyed and she has been hurt. While talking the last couple days we have talked bout future plans, views on children, sex, and religion and other things. Well the problems have come from talking bout kids and bout religion. I personally don't want kids and she does. She is understandably upset with that. Then the whole thing bout religion came up. It is bad enough that I have to lie to her parents about my religion. I will tell them I am catholic if I ever am asked. She wants me to go with her to church which I would be okish with but for a couple problems. I live atleast 40 miles from where she goes to church. I have heard odd things about the pentecostal church and fear I would be extremly uncomfortable. She is mad at me because I don't want to go to church with her. I worry that the differences her and I have will likely bring the relationship to an end.

Not sure what can be said really.
You note that the relationship is only a few days old; before that you both formed opinions about each other without really knowing one another.

A good relationship should have elements of give and take on both sides - if neither is prepared to be flexible, then it will be difficult to move forward.

[willowcrow]

I think that in a relationship, both parties need to be flexible. If your girlfriend is asking that you lie and go to church with her, it sounds like you are making a lot of compromises. What compromises is she willing to make?