this is a very cool poem. it's got elements of beat poetry in it. it brought to mind sitwell, cummings and some others. i love the use of shortenings - it is very exciting to me, and to a lot of people, i think, and in this poem it is used to quite brilliant poetic effect. bravo!
there is a naive simplicity, supported in a very sophisticated poetic framework - the wistful voices of nature in the second half set against the sophisticated mind-play of the beginning. i'm reminded of a delicate vine twining about a piece of fine, functional sculpture.
it's a daring, bold poem - a great achievement.