Seeking

[beaux08]

Perhaps it stems from my need to move, to not stay stagnate, the find new places, changes in landscape, people, and careers. Its happened before, most of the time I repress it, telling myself that my duty to those around me require that I stay and fight through the torment. My stress levels are on the rise, I can feel the need to travel, to get away from the mundane, to break out of the stagnation once more. There is a fire burning inside with the need to rage for a while, to flow freely and release the stressful energies. However the need to be the steady rock for those around me is just as strong, if not stronger. I loath to let those around me down, to abandon. I seek the counsel of the wise, this cycle is not healthy when coupled with the need to support those I hold dear. A primal need to see people joyful and happy around me despite the fire that sometimes rages inside. Seems like I'm on a three year cycle of tolerance to one place.

-Seeking

[Aigeann]

First of all, welcome to the Board!

Secondly, I don't know you at all and I'm certainly not wise, so take my comments with a grain of salt.

You have to take care of yourself. If you are not well, then you can not be the foundation for others. That said, it sounds to me you need seek out compromises.

Instead of a move, perhaps a more frequent short vacation as in a weekend or day trip somewhere--which may also be easier to afford and easier on the back then moving boxes. Instead of a new job, are there other positions you could work toward within the same company (?) Classes to take to prepare you for a new position? A new hobby located close by? A new local club? Basically it sounds like you keep falling in a rut and need a change of focus to engage your mind.

Lastly, obviously we all need to surround ourselves with with a network of supportive people who are functional and to help those who ask for help but not to enable.

This is all easier to type than to do.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

[beaux08]

You are correct concerning the job, and shorter vacations, but since I only get a couple a year I have to make do with finding rest during the weekends which of course most always is catching up on the things I couldnt do during the work week. Hobbies would be nice, just never seems like enough time to do any of them. Thank you for the advice though, back home I used to head out to the woods for some needed rest and relaxation, do some hiking and sightseeing. Its quite a lot harder since I moved to the desert. Thanks again, and ill keep my head up.

[RedSky]

Some time ago I began a program of trying to not make new regrets. That being said, sometimes things just don't workout. I had a yondering until steady road work broke me of it. I was a couple years younger than you are then. you mention the desert? I've had some great walks and meditations in the desert. Interesting animal encounters and everything. you mention stagnation etc, but there is no geographic escape. wherever You go, there You are.
All that being said, it is your life to lead, it is your story.

Peace be with you.

[Bricklayer]

Everyone needs fellowship and Solitude and equal amounts of both I am a nomad at heart I bounce between three different citys/states seasonally because I am a person that can only handle situations in doses..continuing to move is the only thing that makes me sane and feeling like I am locked down physically or metaphorically is sure to drive me insane.