Thrush in flight - Comments Welcome

[nollaig]

Part of the wind:
Hermit Thrush
Dance in the vault of heaven
Weightlessly streaming
Through
The open skyways of
His
Sun-filled firmament.

[Sciethe]

Hi Nollaig,
elegant language which is beautiful to speak once again - I trust that you do speak your own work aloud.
Not sure about the mix of some of the elements though. A thrush and dense bushes and hedges go together in my mind, and the thrush's flight does not seem a dance to me, but an interconnected series of waves. I'd have reserved this poem for a hawk perhaps? Let me know if I'm missing an irony or the like!
Blessings
Sciethe

[nollaig]

Hello Sciethe,

I have a small, mixed forest near my home, part of it includes a tall grass meadow that links one wooded section to another. This poem is a personally descriptive one in that the local Hermit Thrush follow people out of the forest into the open sky of the meadow looking for people to hand-feed them.

Thanks for the critique, this piece might miss the literary mark but if you come for a walk with me and you will see what I am talking about.

With brightest blessing,
~n.

[Sciethe]

So, to you the poet, a complete experience- to me the reader, a golden fragment. Of something which certainly does not miss the literary mark.
Blessings!
Sciethe