Ironic Druidry

[Woodfox]

I wrote this last night when my frustrations were getting the better of me.... it's a bit irreverent but I always feel "laughter is the best medicine".

Deb/ Woodfox

Ironic Druidry
by Debra Lewis/Woodfox

I hug you tight, I hug you long
I hug you even when its wrong
yet all you do is bend and sway
and dump your pollen down my way
it makes me sneeze, it makes me cry
I think you're trying to make me die

This can't go on, it's got to stop
My axe will give you 40 chops!
And after that I'll saw away
ignoring the birds that seem to say
I'm chopping down their home
I've fated them to lonely roam

Sawing you to bits I think
of the nice table going next to my sink
of the lovely chair that was your arms
of the twig broom that will sweep the farm
I fantasize and cut in deep
But only then do I sit and weep

What a terrible end
You were my oldest friend
But now my arms are covered
the lumps and bumps outnumbered
by the rash upon my skin
you're haunting me from within

The irony does not evade
I know you felt you were betrayed
So I found homes for the birds and squirrels
but most places only take referrals.
I tried to get to know you I swear
I couldn't help if you just weren't there

So here I am the sneezing queen
the runny nose and red eyes stream
I try to be a decent hippie
And hug yet another blessed tree
But when the medicine fails dramatically
wise druids must retreat pragmatically

[Astrid]

"But when the medicine fails dramatically
wise druids must retreat pragmatically"

I laughed so much reading this thanks for sharing it - it is really well written

[Aphritha]

Cute!

[Heddwen]

well done ...I like it!

[Selene]

I can relate to this! *taking another Benadryl* Well done, Woodfox!

[Lily]

tee hee great!!

[Explorer]

Pollen in trees is ofcourse the equivalent to sperm in animals.
So perhaps you can sue that tree for sexual harrasment?

[Woodfox]

Thanks everyone for your replies, I'm so glad I'm not the only druid in this position! I sometimes feel like I'm not a very good druid at all being allergic to trees in the first place, lol. @Explorer..... sexual harassment by tree.... hahahahaha!