Unseen, behind a lapwing's nest, lay the prolific Easter Bunny, staring off into space, her eyes glossed over and a silly grin adorning her face.
"Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you . . ." she sang. Beside her, on the sward, the dragon lit two cigarettes and passed one over to her. His enormous schwannstuker slowly deflating in the afterglow.
Not many weeks later, a funny looking creature about four feet tall slopped (slithered & hopped) out of the easter Bunny's burrow. It was covered with green and red scales, but its ears were long and white, and where the great dragon tale was supposed to be was a round, furry little thing that looked for all the world like the trademark of a men's magazine.
Carrying a wicker basket with a magical never-ending supply of colored lapwing's eggs, the new Easter Drunny (Bunny & Dragon) headed off to make it's deliveries. It was one of those warm spring mornings that Easter can occasionally bring to northern Britain, when no one is prepared for the heat. The Easter Drunny was carrying a pretty parasol for protection from the rays of the sun, But the second basket on its back, the one filled with chocolate miniature bunnies, was in the full glare. The chocolate bunnies began to melt and run in the basket. Just then, the Easter Drunny tripped on an unseen rock, did a triple roll during which the liquid chocolate flew up in the air, land on the parasol and dripped down around the Drunny. As she rolled across the dew-cooled grass, the chocolate hardened into an egg shape around her, but not before it rolled through the back door of the Foggy Duck through a pile of papers and ribbons that had been used to wrap the day-old fish Gorn had just brought back from the market.
Rancid growled, and Gorn looked up.
"Gorn!" he said (his favorite ejaculatory comment, hence his name) "Gladys must've sent me a present for Ostara!" He put it up on a barstool to get it out of Rancid's reach, and went back to his chores, thinking he would open it later.
Beith awoke from a very strange dream about pub crawls, biblical events and rescue missions and rubbed her eyes.
"I'm seeing things" she thought. And rubbed them again.
There on the stool in front of her was a giant egg-shaped present wrapped in fishy smelling paper.
"Are you alright?" asked Merlyn, looking at Beith's mascara-rimmed eyes "Stop rubbing them - it streaks your make up"
Beith gave him her best grimace and pointed.
"What is THAT?" she demanded, gesturing to the huge, gift wrapped egg balanced precariously on a bar-stool infront of her.
"Well, it's Easter" said Merlyn "So maybe it's a chocolate egg?"
(Had it been another holiday, Merlyn would have said "a chocolate Santa," or "a chocolate witch," or "a chocolate Guy Fawkes." Merlyn loved chocolate.)
The door of the Foggy Duck jangled open and in breezed Tinne, Carragh Selene and LadyMoonChaser.
"Woah! it's Alice Cooper" exclaimed Tinne.
"Very funny" said Beith "you can talk!" she sneered as she appraised his attire. Tinne was resplendent in a polka-dot fluorescent shell suit with matching chicken-skin boots and feather boa.
"It's the easter look dahlink" he enthused, strutting around the bar like a peacock with wardrobe problems.
"Let's open it!" said Tinne and rushed to be first to the job.
They tore open the gift-wrap to reveal a large chocolate egg.
He was cut off by a sudden cracking noise. The egg split into two halves which fell to the side.
And there, standing in the centre of the chocolate egg was a ........... .......curious creature, the likes of which they had never seen before, nor were they sure they wanted to!
It seemed to be half dragon, half rabbit, and judging by the bubbled pieces of thick chocolate inside the egg halves, the dragoon steam issuing from its nostrils was in full working order! Still, the creature definitley managed to look cute with its floppy bunny ears...
"Where on earth did it come from?" exclaimed Beith, nibbling daintily on a piece of the egg all the same.
"Pardon me," said the Easter Drunny, "Is this Buckingham Palace?"