Louis

[Crow]

Louis

I love you great grandpa
though I did not know you,
the blood in my veins
freshly mirrors your pain

Just what were you thinking
when you left kith and kin
to find some mean place
there to hide with no trace?

Just what were you thinking
when you sat by yourself
in some lonely room
your thoughts focused on doom?

Just what were you thinking
in your two-hour wait
while tears fell like rain
with no end to your pain?

Just what were you thinking
when you wrote out a note
and told your dear wife
you were ending life's strife?

Just what were you thinking
when you picked up your gun,
placed muzzle to head
knowing soon you'd be dead?

I love you great grandpa
though I can't understand
what hurt you so much;
never feeling love's touch

I love you great grandpa,
though now all that lives
are those crumbling lines
from 1929

Though years have passed by
and I live far away
I question in vain
and repeat this refrain:

Just what were you thinking
when you took your own life
on that winter morn
long before I was born?


For my ancestor, Louis Pauli

[FallingLeaves]

I was very moved by your poem Crow.

[Selene]

Who can ever understand why something like that happens to someone? You've penned a powerful message there, Crow; I'm sure it will touch the hearts of a lot of us here--it certainly did mine.

Blessings,
Selene

[EarthWard]

[Beith]

That brought tears to the eyes Crow. Your poem is pure, simple, wonderful and evokes such strong feeling and darkness and questioning. Sometimes it flows doesn't it?

I'm so sorry for his pain and whatever brought him to the brink. Wherever he is now, may he live happily. And you.

Beith

[Piastra]

crow,

whatever pain that he felt, and whatever pain you feel in his passing, and whatever confusion still exists, only stand to reflect on the fact that he was a man of conviction, choosing to open the door to the summerlands himself. there is always a light side to pain and darkness. you have so beautifully expressed the one, perhaps in the future, you will discover the meter to the other...

loves,
carragh

[Beith]

Once again Carragh, your beautiful words pour salve on what was burning. I am always awed at the beauty of your expression.

Welcome back my friend and thank you for putting into words what no-one else could express with such eloquence. I am sure if Crow reads it, he will feel much comforted by it.

Beith

[FallingLeaves]

I agree with Beith Carragh, you express so well that which I could never articulate so clearly and elequently......we are blessed to have you at our board.....

Much Love

FallingLeaves into CompostingEarth

[Crow]

Crow did read it and he was comforted by it, and by all of those who took the time to respond.

[Piastra]

i blush as i thank you all for you sweet words. especially from the great poets that you all are. we are all bards here. i guess i just use my words with less meter to express my own emotions. and the emotions of others are always foremost on my mind when i post. beith is right, i do try to use words as a salve of sorts, if a salve produces understanding and maybe even insight into an issue. still, it is just one person's way. there are many ways of wordcrafting. i am in excellent comapny here, and have learned much from the folks on this board...

hugs,
c.

[Kaya-Nita]

Very Well done. i had a best friend of 20 years and her twin sister take their own lives two weeks apart. They were manic-depressive and lived a life of eletric shock therapy. i watched as each day grew harder and harder for them. i can understand his pain quite well from my view it's physical from theirs it was mental. i miss them dearly since it's been 12 years now they are gone but know they are no longer in pain.

i don't know if it helps any but i do feel for your pain and what must have been his wife's as well.

[Flidais]

Dear Crow, Isn't it strange the way we can feel so deeply for somebody that have never known. My grandfather gassed himself 3 weeks before I was born. I understand what you feel.
Love and blessings
Flidais x